Perfectly Made
by emptygenius
Summary: Bella's overweight and believes she's ugly. But she wants to change. When something happens between her and her best friend, it gives her the motivation to become who she wants to be. AH. BxE. Better summary inside!
1. Date

**Summary:**

**Bella Swan went through life being the fat ugly girl that is best-friends with popular football star Edward Mason. Well, Bella has had enough and decides to sign up for MTV show Made. This will be a special episode that last longer than others. It will last three months, and will be from the end of the school year to the beginning of her senior year. This is her journey to becoming Made.  
**

**Perfectly made**

Name: _Bella swan_

Age:_17_

Sex: _F_

City, state, country: _Forks, Washington; U.S._

Tell us about yourself: _My name is Isabella swan, but I prefer Bella. My father is Charlie Swan and we live together in Forks, WA. My mother, Rene, lives with my step-dad, Phil, in Jacksonville Florida. I'm 17 years old and I turn 18 in September. I am a junior at Forks high. Um, my best friend is Edward Cullen. I love to read books, my favorite's classics. I'm probably the clumsiest person you'll ever meet. I literally trip over air. I have long wavy brown hair, and brown eyes. And that's about it!_

Why do you want to be made? (Details): _I want to be confident in myself. I want to know what it feels like to actually live life, instead of hiding in my house. I want to lose weight for my family and my health. I want to be girly, instead of being a tomboy. I'm a normal girl, but I'm treated like the plague. I don't want that. I want to be beautiful, fit, and confident. I want to be made._

Signature:_ Isabella Swan_

I folded the sheet of paper and stuffed it deep in a drawer. Note to self: Buy more stamps and envelopes. I leaned back in my chair and sighed.

"Hey, Swan," Someone yelled from the door. I jumped nearly a foot in the air, and glared at the intruder. He was laughing.

"Hey, Mason," I replied shortly. "Thanks for giving me a heart attack. I never wanted to live to be eighteen anyway."I shrugged nonchalantly, and smiled to let him see I was joking. He is so protective of me, from others, and from me. He tries to get me to exercise with him, but I have no motivation. I try, and then stop, never finishing anything. I feel bad, but break the rules again by eating my depression away.

That was, and still is my problem.

_***Flashback:***_

_**A 6-year old girl walks home from the worst first day of school EVER! **_

_**That day was her first day of kindergarten. She woke up this morning a bright happy little girl, excited to see what was going to happen today. Her parents sent her out on her way, after a few pictures of course. The sky was bright and sunny, but after a few blocks the dark clouds started moving in. She didn't see it as an omen, because it always rains in Forks.**_

_**Not long after, the rain starts falling. It starts as a light drizzle, the little girl is about halfway to the school. Little legs can only move so fast. The little girl now wished she took her fathers offer to drive in his police cruiser, but that would be stupid considering the school wasn't very far. It only seemed that way because of how small her legs were. It was raining harder now and the little girl was drenched, and all her new school things were ruined, seeing as the backpack was cloth.**_

_**As soon as she got to the school she was lost. Even though it was a small school, to a 6-year old it was as big as a castle! Since school seemed to have already started the little girl found a room with a desk and a little old lady behind it. She walked in and the woman looked up.**_

_**Her eyes visibly widened. "Oh, dear, what has happened to you?" She said clearly concerned. The little girl blushed and looked down.**_

"_**I was walking and it started raining. I'm sorry." The little girl said in a small voice thinking she was in trouble. **_

"_**Sorry? What for, sweetie? You can't control the weather. My name is Mrs. Cope. Here, come on, let's get you cleaned up." She said leading the girl behind the counter to a box filled with clothes. "Here, let's see. You're small, so this should fit. Go in that bathroom right there and try this out. When you come back out we'll get you into class." Mrs. Cope said pointing to a bathroom door. The little girl nodded and walked towards the door without bothering to look at the clothes. **_

_**A few moments later the little girl walks back into the office, dry, and still a little excited. Hey, it was her first day of school! Mrs. Cope looked up when she heard the click of the door. "Okay, those fit well! Here's your things, tell your teacher what happened and why some of your supplies are ruined. Here's a note to give to your teacher to explain your tardiness. Got everything dear?" She asked, and the little girl nodded her head. "Okay, what's your name so I can give you your teachers name and classroom."**_

"_**Is-Isabella Swan," The little girl stuttered nervously. **_

"_**Oh, here we go, you have Mrs. Spurlin. She is down the hall first door on the left. Have a good day!" Mrs. Cope smiled as the little girl walked out.**_

_**Every little head snapped in the girls' direction as she walked into the classroom, but her head was down as she stared at her feet. **_

" _**Look at her clothes! How old is she? Two? Really, who wears Barney anymore! Dora is like the best now!" Someone muttered to a now laughing little girl. Isabella heard and blushed. She walked up to the teacher and handed her the note. **_

"_**Ah, Isabella, we've been expecting you." She smiled warmly. "Here you can sit here. Let me take your things, I'll put them with the others' bags." She seated Isabella, and left her belongings with the rest of the backpacks and lunchboxes. Isabella looked around her table of four and locked eyes with a green-eyed little boy.**_

"_**Hello, I'm Edward Mason. What's your name?" He asked. **_

"_**I'm Be-Bella." She got out. **_

"_**Well, **_**Bella**_**," Someone sneered her name from beside her. "Do you still watch Barney or what?" A little blonde girl said. She shook her head.**_

"_**I was walking to school and it started raining, so I was wet. I went to the office and they gave me some clothes." Bella said in a small voice.**_

"_**Good excuse," She snorted. "I'm Lauren, and**_** I**_** don't like Barney. I'm a big kid!" She smiled at Edward. Edward barely noticed seeing how he was staring at Isabella the whole time. **_

_**Another kid spoke up. "Hey, Edward, can I have that red crayon?" He asked. Edward nodded and handed him the crayon. **_

"_**So, Bella,-" Edward started, but was cut off by the teacher starting class. **_

_***Playground-Recess* **_

_**The little girls' day was a little better. Edward was nice, Lauren ignored her, and a kid named Ben was drawing some picture the whole time, so she never talked to him. It was time for recess and Bella was walking with Edward talking about nothing in particular. Well she was walking until someone pushed her down. She sat on the ground for a moment trying to force back the tears until she looked up and saw Lauren walking away in the opposite direction. Edward blocked her view as he tried to help her up. **_

"_**Oh, my, gosh! Bella are you all right?" He looked scared for a minute.**_

"_**Sure," She shrugged. "I fall down a lot. No big deal." But she knew she didn't just fall this time. She just didn't want to make unwanted enemies that she seemed to already have. Edward looked at her, but decided to let it go. They started walking again, until they sat under a tree talking. A few minutes later, Bella gets hit in the head with something small. She looks around, but sees nothing unusual and shrugs it off. But then minutes later it happens again, but more than one this time. She looks around and spots Lauren looking around innocently. Bella was pelted with little acorns the whole recess, but couldn't do anything, because, really, what could she do?**_

_***Back in the classroom after lunch***_

_**Lunch, was like recess, but instead of acorns it was food. Mashed potatoes and chicken to be exact. And it was a nasty mess. Isabella was scolded for playing with her food, because that was what Lauren told the teacher. Bella was so scared she just sat there and took it. After lunch the class followed behind the teacher in a straight line. When they got to the classroom they learned Bella's' weakness; math. She could do some-the ones she could count on her fingers, but after ten she got lost. The teacher called on Bella for an answer that was higher than the number ten, and she embarrassed herself in front of the entire class! Edward said she was close to comfort her, but they both knew she was nowhere near the right amount. **_

_**After some math the class got some story-telling time. So they all listened to the teacher as she read some picture book.**_

_**Finally it was the end of the day and now she could go home! The little girl was disappointed. Today was not what she expected it to be. Everything that could've gone wrong, did. The only good thing today was Edward. Ah, Edward… Edward always made her feel better whenever Lauren would do something to make her day worse. Ugh, Lauren… **_

_**And with that she walked into her house. Her mom was in the kitchen when she walked in.**_

"_**Hey, sweetie! How did your day go?" She asked in a cheerfully happy mood. The little girl scowled. It's really annoying when you are in a bad mood, there is always someone around you that is as bright as the sun! She saw the girls scowl and frowned. "Bad day? Here, this is what you need."And with that she pulled out a tub of rocky road ice cream…**_

_***End flashback***_

Ugh, Lauren! She still likes to make my life a living Hell. She has liked Edward ever since that first day of kindergarten, and it is so funny because he doesn't even notice her! Edward is in most of my classes (amazing what he can do to the woman at the front desk just by looking at her!) and Lauren hates that he gives his attention to a fat ugly girl, instead of a skinny slut. Edward's technically not my only friend, I know a girl named Angela. She's really nice, but we're not that close. During lunch I sit with Edward and his football buddies. Jacob was the only one to talk to me. He was pretty cool, but I mostly talked with Edward.

"Anytime," Edward said coolly. Sigh. He was so amazing. He was the reason I woke up every morning and went to the hell hole they call school. He was the reason I stayed after school two extra hours just to watch him practice. He's like a shining light in a dark corner. He's everything I ever want, but I can't get. And to top it all off he was everything a girl looks for in a guy—sweet, charming, a gentleman —but the only thing people at school see are his good looks and popularity. As far as I know, Edward has never gone out with anyone, so this makes the ladies all think that he just likes a chase, and go after him stronger. It is so funny to watch, but so hard too. Of course Edward lets them down in a polite gentleman manner, but that doesn't stop them. Lauren is one that has not stopped trying from the beginning. She has tried almost every trick in the book, but Edward hardly notices her. The only time Edward ever notices Lauren is when he has to be with her which is at lunch. See, the football players and cheerleaders stick together in groups, like in every other high school, and Edward is captain of the football team, while Lauren is head cheerleader. And as head cheerleader, Lauren comes up with the most sluttish moves to get the attention of Edward when he's playing, but the only time he looks over, is to wave to me in the bleachers. "So, I wanted to ask you something," He said suspiciously. I raised an eyebrow, telling him to continue. "Will you go to the game?" He asked, sounding hopeful. I was confused. Of course I would go, I go to all his games. And this game decided if we would go to state or not, which is the first time since 1963! It has been a big deal, and all anybody can talk about all week.

"I always go to your games," I said, hoping he would explain.

He looked a little nervous and rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah, but,-" He was cut off by Charlie walking through the door.

"Hey, Bells, what do you think of this—Oh, hey Edward, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at the school getting ready? Big game tonight, eh?" He smiled at Edward.

Edward shrugged, looking a little uncomfortable, which is weird, because we were like a family and Charlie was like Edward's second dad. "I was actually asking if Bells was coming, then I was gonna head out." He gave Charlie a pointed look, and Charlie looked like he remembered something.

"Oh, yeah… OK, well, I'll be in my room if you need me." He said about to walk out before I stopped him.

"Hey, dad, what did you need before?" I asked. He blushed, and looked away.

"Just your opinion on this tie," He said walking out the door.

Edward raised his eyebrow. "Since when does Charlie wear a tie, other than weddings and funerals?" He asked, I shrugged. He got this evil glint in his eyes, but there was also amusement, so I wasn't scared.

"What? I know that look, Edward. You're up to something," I said. He shrugged, looked towards the door, then back to me.

"Agent, Swan, we have a new mission," He said in a whisper. I almost laughed. We haven't played super secret spy agents in ages! This was going to be fun!

"And what is that agent, Mason?" I questioned in the same hushed tone. He smirked, clearly glad I was playing along.

"Well, were looking into the mysteries behind Charlie's tie." He said simply.

"Oh, of course, the tie. So, how are we going to do this?" I asked.

"Follow my lead," He whispered, as he got up and tip-toed to the door. He opened it as quietly as possible and snuck out. The whole time, his back was pressed against a wall. I had to stifle a laugh at the seriousness on his face. He looked over at me when I didn't succeed in being completely quiet, and broke into a huge grin. He beckoned me with his finger to come forward, and I easily complied, following in the same way he did—back against the wall and all. We were at Charlie's door and heard shuffling inside, as Charlie was obviously getting ready for something. Edward twisted the knob very slowly, and peeked inside. After a few minutes, Edward was about to burst out laughing, so I pushed him away from the door, and had myself a look. How Edward lasted so long, I'll never know. Charlie was in front of the mirror in dress clothes—His black church pants and a blue button down shirt—making different poses. Most of them where he was flexing his non-existent muscles in his arms, and some where he was trying to look sexy, I suppose. I couldn't stop the laughter that came out of my mouth when he looked at the mirror and said "Hey, Sue, what's up baby?" In a deep husky voice. Charlie turned around and saw me and Edward peeking through the door and stomped over. Me and Edward sat up and ran back to my room, trying to look indifferent—which is really hard, considering what we just saw. We made it to my room before Charlie got the door to his room open. I smiled my best angelic smile at his beet red face. I couldn't tell if he was angry or embarrassed.

"Hey, dad, what's up?" I asked as innocently as possible. He narrowed his eyes at me.

"Who you all dressed up for, Charlie?" Edward asked, trying to keep a straight face. I was never a good actor and even worse at lying, so it surprised me how calmly I could do this!

"Huh? Oh, no one. Well, actually, I have a date tonight. Sorry, but I'm probably going to miss the game kid." He said, sounding regretful. I think _he _was more upset about missing the game, then actually hurting Edward's feelings for missing the game.

"A date? With who?" I asked innocently, since I already knew who. Sue Clearwater. Her husband, Harry, passed a few years back and ever since then her and Charlie have been spending more time together. I wonder if this is their first date, or just a special one. Probably their first considering how nervous Charlie is.

"Sue Clearwater," he said. I nodded.

"Have fun," I said in a sincere tone. He nodded. Edward got up and took out his wallet, and said,

"Here, Charlie," Edward said. "they're the keys to the Volvo, you can't take the cruiser, and Bella's truck sucks." Edward chuckled.

"Hey!" I said. "My truck has got personality,"

Edward and Charlie laughed. "Yeah, but it also has some running problems." He pointed out.

"My truck runs just fine," I said angrily.

"So, that's why I've been picking you up for the past month?" He asked. Damn it! I can't tell him the reason I called him to pick me up was because I wanted to be with him. Talk about awkward moments. But I have to defend my truck. I sighed and gave no answer. He smiled smugly. "The best thing about your truck, is probably the stereo." He said.

"You mean the one _you_ bought me for my birthday?" I grumbled. He heard me and laughed.

"OK, kid, thanks, but how will you get to the game, seeing as Bella's truck is…" Charlie trailed off as I glared at him.

"I'll take my Vanquish. I'll take Bella, if that's alright with you." He said to me. I nodded, ad he smiled. "So go have fun with your hot date, Charlie!" He laughed again. Charlie nodded and left. A few minutes later he said he was leaving, and we wished him good

luck. Edward had to leave soon, so we just hung out with each other for a while. Too soon it was time for him to leave and I bid him goodbye. He would be back around 7 to pick me up, and I had this weird feeling I my stomach, and I don't know why, but this felt like a date.

**Review! Tell me what you think pleaseeee!(:**


	2. Pretend

**Next chapter! Enjoy! (:**

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I slowly walked up the stairs in a daze. When I made it to the top I got my bag of toiletries, and went to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror, and noticed a silly grin on my face. I rolled my eyes at myself, but couldn't get the grin off my face. I undressed quickly turning away from the mirror, and jumped in the shower.

I let the warm water soothe me, and relax my tense muscles. I took a little longer than necessary washing my hair, just because. It was when I got out I saw a problem.

What was I going to wear?

I'm usually a tee-shirt and jeans kind of girl, but it felt like a special occasion, so I will dress like it is. I'm not stupid enough to show up at a football game in a dress, but I want something better than my normal attire. After attacking my wardrobe I settled on my only khaki skirt and a red blouse. It was dressy, but still casual. It was perfect!

I dressed quickly and put a little makeup on. I only knew how to put a little make-up on. My hair was just going to have to air dry, because it was already 6:50. I put on a pair of ballerina flats, and walked down the stairs. As soon as my foot touched the last step, there was a knock at the door. My head shot up, and I raced to the door. When I made I had to deal with the locks that weren't cooperating! After a few twist and pulls, I swung the door open to see Edward.

He was wearing his football uniform, white pants and his maroon colored jersey with **Mason 1** on the back. He was also wearing a long sleeved white undershirt—even though it was May, it was still cold.

He smiled my favorite smile. "You look great! Are you ready?" He asked. I blushed, but nodded.

We walked to the Vanquish, and he went to my side to open the door for me. _Always the gentleman_, I thought, and smiled. He got in and the playful conversation started like it normally did when we were together.

"Okay, so what's your favorite color today?" He asked after our laughter died down from a joke he just told me.

I thought for a moment. This was a routine thing he did almost every day. All because of that game of twenty questions…

_***Flashback***_

_**The little girl and her best friend were swaying slightly on the swing sets as they watched the younger kids run around. Today was a rare sunny day in Forks, so most people were taking advantage of it. All day the little girl's best friend has been suggesting things to do, but every time the little girl rejects the idea for one reason or another. To sum it up, they were epically bored.**_

_**Suddenly the little girl's best friend perked up. The little girl raised one delicate eyebrow, questioning him. He smiled the biggest smile she has ever seen and said, "Let's play the get to know you game! We take turns asking each other questions, kind of like 20 questions, but more questions." He cheered, obviously excited with his suggestion. The little girl thought for a moment, then nodded her head slowly. "Okay, I'll go first," He thought real hard, and you could literally see a light bulb go off on the top of his head! "What's your favorite color?" He asked, looking genuinely interested. The little girl weighted in the pros and cons off her favorite colors for a while before she shrugged. **_

"_**It changes by day," The little girl said.**_

"_**Well, then what's your favorite color today?" He urged.**_

"_**That's two questions, but probably brown." **_

_**His nose wrinkled, and she thought it was the cutest thing in the world. "Why brown?" He asked. **_

_**She rolled her eyes. "You're not very good at this game," She pointed out. He shrugged and urged her to continue. She sighed, "Brown is very warm." **_

_**He looked in her eyes, smiled, and nodded his head. "I agree." **_

_***End flashback***_

I rolled my eyes and looked at Edward. He was still waiting for my answer so I just blurted it out, "Green." He raised an eyebrow at my traitor blush. How could I not say green when I have to look into his eyes everyday? Recently my little…okay, huge crush on Edward multiplied, if that's even possible. There was always this…electric charge in the air when I'm near him, and lately it has gotten so strong it's almost painful. I looked down at my hands so he couldn't dazzle the answer out of me. After he realized his method wasn't working he became more demanding.

"Bella, tell me why you're blushing." He said, sounding oddly like Charlie. I couldn't contain the giggles that burst through my lips. He looked confused with one eyebrow almost unconsciously raised. I sighed when my laughter died down.

"Sorry. You sounded like Charlie for a moment." I looked up to see him smile. I hesitated. What the hell. "It's the color of your eyes." I paused. "And you seem so excited today, so your eyes are so bright and happy. It's kind of contagious." I giggled.

He smiled brightly and it was back to the playful conversation before. Phew. I was afraid it was going to be awkward.

A few moments later we pulled into the parking lot. He had to leave to go to the locker room. I hugged him wishing him good luck, and reluctantly let go. He smiled, waved, turned and walked away. I sighed watching him leave. Suddenly my face was getting closer to the ground. I tried to reach my hands out to at least not fall flat on my face, but my luck sucks! My face connected to the ground and I heard cackles coming from somewhere beside me.

"Watch where you're going, fat ass!" Lauren, head cheerleader growled. Jessica, Irina, and her other little wannabe Barbie's laughed along with her. I tried to stand, but there was a sharp pain in my elbow. I looked down and there was a reasonable sized gash up my arm. I breathed in and out of my mouth. The taste in the air was better than the smell.

Someone was attempting to pull me up. I looked and saw Angela Weber. Angela was one of the nicest people I've ever met. She was on the cheerleading team, but only for her mom's benefit. Everybody knows she actually hates it. Angela is a quiet, shy type of girl, not a "Give me a B, I, T, C, H. What does that spell? Cheerleaders!" **(A/N: No offense to cheerleaders. It just goes with the story!) **I helped her, help me get up by pushing myself up.

"Hey, don't listen to them. They're just…" She trailed off.

"Bitches? Skanks? Hoe bags? Any of these working for you or should I go on?" She laughed. I cracked a smile. I like Angela, she's cool.

"All of the above?" She looked over her shoulder and frowned. I stretched my neck to see Lauren glaring at Angela and me. "Hey, I got to go. I'll see you around school." She smiled and walked away hesitantly. I couldn't hear what Lauren was saying, but I'm pretty sure it was about me. Whatever, the bitch can rot in hell for all I care. Ever, since that first day of kindergarten she's wanted me gone. It's not like I'm oblivious to the reasons why though. She wants Edward, but apparently I'm in the way. Newsflash, honey, he don't like you! I lost count of how many times she has asked him out. He was always polite in rejecting her, but I could see the disgust in his eyes. Lauren just thinks he's playing hard to get. I heard her telling one of her minions that in the locker room one day. I just rolled my eyes and walked away.

I started walking towards them. Angela smiled, Lauren glared. I smiled a huge smile at them and continued on my way. I made to the bleachers to see Jake sitting in the usual spot.

"Hey Jake," I waved.

"Bells! Come here, the game's about to start." He gestured with his hand to the seat beside him. "What took so long? I saw Edward go in a while ago." He asked, looking concerned. Jake was a family friend. He was my dad's best friend's son, and we really got along. He never cared how I looked and him and Edward didn't hit it off at first, but after a while they warmed up to each other. They really got close when they worked together on the field. Recently though Jake was in an accident. Just a sprain, but he can't play. He was really bummed, especially because this was state! Huge deal. But they are pretty good friends I guess. Jake's great once you get to know him behind the hard exterior.

I grimaced. "Lauren." I said shortly.

"Oh…" Yeah, oh buddy. I haven't told Edward she picks on me because I can fight my own battles, but Jake knows because he was at my house when I came home crying after some verbal abuse from her. He wanted to do something, but I begged him not to make anything worse. Things would've gotten worse anyways, but the real reason was because I didn't want Edward to know. He is way too overprotective for his own good.

We chatted for a few minutes before the band started and the cheerleaders came out. This was the cue for the football players to come out and like clockwork out pops the football team. Edward is in the front, flanking him is Riley and Mike after them came out the rest of the team. Mike held his head proudly and Ben looked a little nervous. His situation was like Angela's in a way. She was a cheerleader because of her mom; he was a football player because of his father. It goes farther than that, but that's the basics. It was just a matter of time before one of them works up enough courage to ask the other one out.

Edward walked out calmly, looking like a Greek god without even trying. He let his team go ahead of him, giving high-fives as they passed. When they were all near the benches, he looked up to the crowd. I waved and so did Jake. He saw and smiled. We locked eyes for a moment and I swore there was something there. This couldn't be my imagination this time. Could it?

It felt like a lifetime, but could have only been seconds when his eyes broke away. He looked to his side, frowning. Oh, no what's wrong? I look over to see Ben talking to him with a knowing smile. I try to read their lips, but fail miserably. Edward looked back at me worried, then back to Ben and shook his head, still frowning. Ben shook his head, but was still smiling. He patted Edward on the back, looked up at me, and walked back to the benches where the rest of the team was. Edward looked…hopeful? I think. He smiled my favorite crooked grin, and walked over to the team. I stared at his back until Jake broke me out of my thoughts.

"…And maybe if I said yes, then my house wouldn't have been like that." Jake finished whatever he was saying.

I shook my head. "I'm sorry what?"

"I know! That's what I said!" He waved his hands in the air frantically. I was so confused, but decided to drop it, and change the subject.

"The game's starting," I said pointing to the field. He turned and started intently in that direction. I felt bad. He made it this far and can't even play the game he worked so hard to come to. Our team did their little pep talk thing and ran out into the field.

Edward looked up at me one more time, and I mouthed a 'Good luck'. He smiled and looked over at Ben, then at me, and winked. My breath hitched in my throat as I saw this. Jacob looked at me for a moment making sure I was alright, and then turned away. I could be real about this and just say he just had a twitch. Possible. Or I could pretend and say he was winking at me in more than a friendly way.

For right now I wanted to be a 5-year old girl again and pretend.

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**Okay, so sorry this took so long! I really don't understand football because I never pay attention to it, so if someone could explain like positions and junk that would be great!(: It plays a pretty important part in the story so yeah, thanks! And review?(: **


	3. fed up

**Guys, I don't know when this will be up, because my thing won't let me add chapters or anything. It won't let me edit anything! I've had my all my next chapters done for a while now, but I can't post them because of the glitch! I'm sorry! Anyways, enjoy! (:**

**DISCLAIMER: I, unfortunately don't own Twilight, or Made, but I do own car named, Annabelle. (: I love that car!**

The crowd was literally freaking out, including me. Of course, I was for different reasons then everyone else. Yes, there was the biggest game in Forks history, but the only thing I had my eyes on was the boy with the untamable bronze-colored hair peeking out from under his helmet. Occasionally when the players went to line up again, he would glance up at the stands and smile my favorite smile.

Edward took over Jacob's quarterback position, since Jake was otherwise occupied watching next to me, with a sprained ankle. I nervously checked the scoreboard, even though I would've known if it had changed. When Edward made the team I didn't know anything—absolutely nothing, nada, zip, etc.—about football, but I wanted to know, so I could cheer him on in the crowds and understand when he talks about it. This was likely, since I knew he was going to be amazing. He always was great at everything. Anyways, I asked Charlie first if he knew anything about football. After an hour long speech about how the world didn't revolve around Edward—if he only knew—he forgot what I was asking and left for the station. Well, he was out. I had two other options; I could learn by books and watching it with my dad, or ask Edward. I really wish I didn't have to ask Edward. Luckily after I finished a couple of the books—consisting mostly of football for dummies—I got it down quickly. It actually wasn't that complicated of a sport. I can still remember Edward's first game…

_***Flashback***_

_**Bells, are you sure about this?" The little boy asked his best friend. "You don't have to go. I know you're not the most athletic person I know," He teased, holding back a laugh at the little girl's stance. He has seen this pose many times before. She had her chin jutted out, a defensive hardening in her eyes. Her tiny arms crossed in front of her, so tightly it looked almost painful. Not that the little girl would say anything if she was in pain. She was more a 'suffer in silence' type.**_

"_**I think I can handle a football game," The little girl defended herself. **_

_**The little boy finally broke and let out a soft smooth chuckle. This then broke the little girl's stance like it always does and she smiled while dragging him—or attempting to—to the door. **_

_**The little girl was literally bouncing as she made it out to her second parents' car. "Hey, Elizabeth, Edward," She waved and smiled.**_

"_**Hello, dear, Edward said you wouldn't have wanted to go, since you aren't the most athletic person out there," She said holding back a laugh. The little girl rolled her eyes.**_

"_**Like mother, like son," She muttered, and then said louder. "No, I want to go," She insisted, looking over at Edward. The little boy's mom gave the little girl a knowing look, while his dad started the car.**_

"_**Are you excited, son?" The little boy's dad asked, once they were driving down the road, towards the field.**_

"_**Very," The little boy said, while his eyes sparkled. The little girl smiled at the spark in his eyes.**_

"_**What position are you playing?" The little boy's mom asked, worriedly. The little girl was also afraid her best friend might break something, or get hurt because he had to block someone so huge they wouldn't have looked like they were in 6**__**th**__** grade. **_

"_**I think I'm the running back, since I was one of the fastest on the team." The little boy smiled, because he loved running. The feeling of freedom as the wind blew through his untamable locks. The little girl was the only one who he told this and she smiled, realizing the expression on his face.**_

"_**Just make sure not to get too hurt, please," The little boy's mom smiled a soft smile, but anyone could see she was afraid for her only son.**_

"_**I'll be fine mom," the little boy assured her.**_

_***End Flashback***_

And he sure was fine. He avoided everyone who came near him. Gracefully, weaving through the sea of boys in helmets and jerseys, so he could score for our team. The coach always said he saw great possibilities for Edward, and look at him now. I smiled proudly before remembering the score. The scoreboard sat there almost taunting me as the numbers on there seemed to be wrong. According to the board we were down about 5 points and we only had four minutes, so all we needed was a touchdown and we would win.

I could tell the team was trying their best. Everyone could see that, but the other team was just so good. Every time we get even remotely close to scoring, they always get the ball, by tackling our running back or intercepting our passes. Our guys were giving it their hardest, but this other schools' too well. All the players were sweating heavily and panting as they lined up again. Edward's head snapped towards the bleachers quickly before looking in front him. His mouth was moving, so I knew he was calling out the switch of positions. The players moved around into their new position, and it started.

Ben was center, so he hiked the ball to Edward, who looked to pass to either Eric, or Tyler. But he didn't pass to either. Instead, he faked it, and when the others went to run in that direction he took off across the scrimmage line. Now, Edward is one of the fastest persons I know, so when I saw he was about to be tackled by a human steroid disposal, I jumped out my seat not caring who was watching and screamed.

"RUN, EDWARD! FASTER!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, probably hurting the ears of the people around me. But I sighed in relief when Edward started to pick up the pace. I sat back down on the edge of my seat. Everything seemed to go annoying slow after that outburst, like everything was in slow motion.

The steroid disposal looked ahead and realized Edward was close to getting a touchdown, so he jumped in the air about to strike. My heart stopped beating as I saw the man flying through the air. Edward was so close. It felt like it took forever, but the man was finally coming back down, slowly, right above Edward.

My breathing stopped.

The crowd fell silent as the buzzer rang, signaling game over. The guy landed right on top of Edward, but not his arm. Edward's arm was reached out, with the football in hand. The guy rolled over and there lay Edward, a big grin on his face. Our side of the bleachers started yelling and chanting Edward over and over again. Edward's arm reached out across the touchdown line making us a point ahead of the other team. Our team members all came over to Edward to help him up off the ground. But the ground wasn't good enough, and they lifted him to their shoulders, yelling his name the whole time.

He removed his helmet to reveal a few scrapes and soon to be bruises. He looked over and our eyes met. He smiled a huge smile, and I couldn't keep the grin that he always caused. "You did it! Congrats," I mouthed, hoping he understood.

"Thank you," He mouthed back.

"Let's go wait in the parking lot for him," Jacob suggested. I nodded and went to help him up.

After a shameful attempt to get him down the stairs I laughed.

"How did you even get up here?" I asked between laughter.

"I have absolutely no idea. It seems easier to get up these things then down. I feel like I'm going to fall face first every time I move my feet." He laughed with me.

After a few minutes he was down the stairs completely unscathed. Mostly everyone was already gone or in the parking lot, so it was easy to get him to the Vanquish quicker. Jacob was going to ride back with us, because his ride could only drop him off. But when we got closer to the car I heard a strange noise. Almost like a moan. I looked at Jake to see him looking at me the same way. I started moving closer to investigate and what I saw shocked me beyond belief.

Edward was pressed against the car with Lauren pressed against him, their lips locked, and her moaning into his mouth. I heard a noise of disgust, and then realized it was from my own mouth. They broke apart, at my noise. Lauren looked smug and Edward looked shocked.

"Bella-" He started, but I cut him off.

"No. Don't you, Bella, me. I don't want to hear it Edward Mason. All I want to say is you're better than this whore." I gestured to Lauren, whose mouth popped open at my words.

"Bella, it's not what it-." But this time Lauren cut him off.

"Come on Eddie-poo. Tell her already. We have been seeing each other for a while now." She smiled smugly at me while she wrapped her arms around Edward. I could feel the tears coming, but I wasn't sure if it was from sadness or anger.

"Lauren, we're not-." Edward tried, but I wasn't hearing it.

"Whatever, Edward. It's your life. Live it how you want to, just know when you get an STD from this slut—" But Lauren's nasally voice interrupted me and I unwillingly turned my head to look at her.

"Excuse me? I don't have any STD's. And I'm not a slut!" She sneered.

"How many guys have you slept with? Did you use protection anyone of those times? Or maybe you haven't even slept with anyone. You could've used other parts of your body to satisfy men…or women if you go that way. You're a whore. It shows in the way you dress, the way you act, everything about you screams fake ass whore." And that was all I got out before her fist started to peel back. I saw it coming, so I ducked out of the way just in time for her swipe to go right above my head.

I saw red. That was all it took for me to jump on her. I barely got there before Edward held me back. Lauren was hiding behind Edward a smirk on her plastic face.

"Bella, you're better than this. Don't stoop to her level," Edward said softly in my ear. I flinched away from his voice.

"So, I guess this is your level now, too, huh? Whatever. Have a happy life, Edward." I said, turning to walk away. The tears were brimming in my eyes now. Jacob crutched up beside me.

"Bella, where are you going?" He asked, softly.

I sniffled. "Home,"

"You're walking?" He sounded surprised.

"Just 'cause I'm fat doesn't mean I can't walk a far distance." I snapped, turning to glare at him.

"That's not what I meant," He sighed. "I meant, it's late and Edward—"

"Screw, Edward," I sniffled, louder this time.

"You don't mean that," He soothed. "You're just mad. I'm sure it was all a big misunderstanding. You know Edward more than I do and I'm sure he wouldn't be kissing _Lauren_." He sneered her name. Good, I'm not just biased about her because she picks on me.

"Then what do you think he was doing, Jacob? He had his tongue down her throat and doesn't even care that I saw the whole thing. He doesn't care that I'm his best friend. He doesn't care that I love him! He just doesn't care," I blurted before I realized what I just said. I froze and I looked over to see Jake's mouth hanging open.

"You…You love him?" He choked out. I gave him a weird look. I expected him to be shocked, or grossed out, but not hurt or wounded.

I sighed. "Yes. I have loved him since Elementary school," I smiled at the memories that popped up in my head, and then frowned starting to tear up again.

"He doesn't deserve you then," He finally said. I snorted.

"Yeah, more like the other way around," I rolled my eyes, and then realized something. "Jake, what are you still doing here? You can't walk all the way to the Rez, that's too far." I stopped making him stop too. "And you're on crutches. Go back to Edward." I ordered.

"Only if you go with me," He said, solemnly.

"I don't ever want to see his face again," I stated, simply, though that was going to be hard, since his face was in almost every thought I have.

"Well then put a bag on his face," Jake suggested.

I laughed. "Yeah, and then we can let him drive. Did you forget my dad's a cop?" I teased.

"Well, what did you think we would let him do with a bag over his head? Ride in the backseat? Silly, Bella," Jacob chuckled.

"Oh, oops, my bad," I said dryly.

"No, but, Bella, it's either go back or walk."

"How about you go back and I walk?" I suggested hopelessly.

"How about, no," He deadpanned. I looked up to see his face. It's pretty sad when you have to look that far up to see the face of a man on crutches. He laughed at the odd angle my head was lifted. "Put your head down before you hurt yourself," He suggested, laughing the whole time.

I complied and was about to say a witty remark back when a car pulled up beside us slowing to a crawl. The window rolled down to see Edward's sad face. I looked away not about to be guilted into this. Jacob looked torn, confused on which side to take.

"Bella, please listen to me," Edward begged. His voice sounded hoarse like he was on the edge of tears, but it was probably from all the face mashing. I kept walking, acting as if he wasn't there. Jake crutched along beside me. Edward took my silence as an opportunity to go on. "Lauren cornered me in the parking lot, saying she wanted to congratulate me. I told her it was a team effort, but she kept coming closer. I was trying to push her away or back up or something, but I ended up against the car. I told her no, but she didn't listen, Bella. Bella, you know I wouldn't do that. You know me," He whispered.

"I thought I knew you, Edward. Now, though…Now I know what you really are, I guess." I frowned, close to crying again. Damn him. Why did I get so wrapped up hoping one day he might see me? He might actually see me. That I wasn't invisible and I couldn't be walked over that easily.

"And what is that, Bella?" He sounded angry now. I stopped dead in my tracks and turned to glare at him. His car stopped, too.

"An 'A' grade asshole! You are like every other cliché high school football player who always goes after the head slut of the school, while your best friend is ignored. While she sits and watches people throw themselves at him, and he enjoys it! He milks it for what it's worth! He's not worth my time anymore. Think in a few years from now when your high school glory days are just a memory and your hair is thinning, and you're gaining some extra weight that _that_ was the life you chose. I always thought you were going to grow up and become a famous composer, and make something of yourself, but if this is the life you want, then so be it. Just know that I'm not going to be in it anymore," This whole speech was spit between clenched teeth as he looked shocked at my words. I thought I saw a tear roll down his cheek, but it must just be my imagination. He doesn't care about me anymore.

"Bella—"

"Fuck off, Edward. I'm done," And that was it. The last thing I said to Edward before I started walking again. Jake started following me, but I stopped him in a deadly tone. "Get in the car and go home, Jake."

"But—"

"Now." He sighed, but got in the car. Edward drove away after that leaving me in complete silence as I walked through the town. Everywhere I looked there was a reminder of my childhood, which was a reminder of Edward. The first time I learned to ride a bike was in the parking lot of the corner store which I just passed. Edward helped me up every time I fell, since he learned before me and was teaching me. The ice cream shop with the happy looking snowman in the window was the place where we got ice cream when I finally learned how to ride and was conflicted with being sad of my injuries or happy because I did it. Edward took me to get ice cream to cheer me up. I passed a few other blocks down memory lane before the tears came. I was at the park now, where most of the memories occurred. I had to stop here, because I couldn't see clearly with my eyes watery. I sat down on the swing set and cried.

I cried for a waste of my life. I cried for calling it a waste. I cried for a lost friendship. I cried for my broken heart, sorry I gave it so much hope in the first place. I cried for all the happy memories that happened in this very place. I just cried. I cried until the tears wouldn't come anymore. By that point I knew it was late and I should head home.

By the time I made it home, it was around midnight and I thanked the unknown for letting Charlie not be here. He couldn't see me like this, and I didn't want to relive this night ever again.

At that moment I knew what I had to do. I had to leave. I didn't really want to leave Charlie to fend for himself, but I have a good feeling about Sue. I would have to apologize to Jacob for being so rude earlier. I went up the stairs and into my room immediately searching for my large duffel bag. I found it and started to put only necessities and must haves in. After I had all I wanted from my room I went to the bathroom for my toothbrush. I grabbed my toothbrush quickly stuffing it in my bag with the other stuff, and I did the mistake to look up. My face was red and blotchy from crying so much, and my hair looked like a bird landed in it. My shirt was stained from my tears and I was just a mess. I couldn't face Charlie to tell him goodbye looking like this. He'd demand and answer and I didn't feel up to giving it. I walked out of the bathroom and walked down the stairs thinking of my life as I passed the photos documenting it on the wall.

I found the pad we used to write phone messages on and a pen.

_Dad,_

_I'm going to live with mom. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you in person this is just something I need to do. It wasn't anything you did, you are a great father, and I love you, but I can't live in Forks anymore. Sorry. _

_P.s. can you tell Jake I'm sorry? Thanks, dad. I love you._

_Bella_

I put the note in a noticeable place, so he would see it right away. I walked up the stairs again and retrieved my bag. I slung it over my shoulders and grabbed my keys. I had my barely existent college fund in my pocket and I was ready to go. I hope my mom would be glad I was there. I knew she loved me, but she was with Phil, so even after about five years, they would still be acting like newlyweds. I felt like I was missing something, and I looked at my bag and realized what. I ran up the stairs, almost tripping in the process and made it to my room. I went straight for the drawer and pulled out the paper. I need to change something…

**Made Application Form**

Name: _Bella swan_

Age: _17_

Sex: _F_

City, state, country:_ Jacksonville, Florida; U.S._

Tell us about yourself: _My name is Isabella swan, but I prefer Bella. My father is Charlie Swan and we live together in Forks, WA. My mother, Rene, lives with my step-dad, Phil, in Jacksonville Florida. I'm 17 years old and I turn 18 in September. I am a junior at Forks high. Um, my best friend is Edward Cullen. I love to read books, my favorite's classics. I'm probably the clumsiest person you'll ever meet. I literally trip over air. I have long wavy brown hair, and brown eyes. And that's about it!_

Why do you want to be made? (Details): _I want to be confident in myself. I want to know what it feels like to actually live life, instead of hiding in my house. I want to lose weight for my family and my health. I want to be girly, instead of being a tomboy. I'm a normal girl, but I'm treated like the plague. I don't want that. I want to be beautiful, fit, and confident. I want to be made._

Signature:_ Isabella Swan_

I folded the paper and grabbed an envelope. I scrawled across the front of it before stuffing in the letter. I grabbed my bag, and without taking a backwards glance, I walked out of the house, dropping the letter in the mailbox on my way out.

As the roar of the engine came to life I thought of life in Florida. A new beginning was exactly what I need. And hey, maybe some day I could have enough strength to come back…Let's hope I don't have enough strength for a while…

**Well, what did cha think? (: Review please? (: And sorry so late! My thing is messed up and won't let me get in there! I'm sorry! **


	4. Arguing with myself

**Disclaimer: I don't own nuffin! (;**

* * *

**Chapter 4, Arguing with myself**

"Hey, it's Ant here! I've been having a pretty bad day. Well, it was a good day. A great day, actually, but it's funny how in seconds that could change. I was finally going to ask her, guys. I was going to ask the girl I loved to go out with me. I know you guys are like, "Shut up about this girl already!" but I can't. I screwed everything up. Okay, you guys I'm sorry this isn't my usual fun self, but I'm freaking depressed! Anyone wanna bring up a different topic; send it to me, so I can change the subject, because I'm probably annoying the crap out of you all." Anthony or Ant was this guy who made his own advice show. He used a voice modifier, though, so he's basically anonymous, because I have a feeling his name isn't Anthony. I listen to him on the computer, so I was happy that I packed my laptop. Everyone at school looks to him for advice, or to brighten their day. He always has something amazingly freaking awesome to say! I'm kinda obsessed…

Ant's word brought back today and I realized that I was in the same kind of predicament. I grabbed my phone and quickly typed something in, pausing after every word to check the roads. I knew texting while driving was dangerous, but right now I didn't really care. I hit the send button hoping he would read it.

"Wow, um you guys still amaze me with how much feedback I get. I'll choose randomly, so…Okay, here's one,** Already Gone **says,** "I'm in love with my best friend, but he likes someone else. I want him to be happy, but it hurts, and to add to that the girl he likes is a complete slut. What should I do?"** I nearly choked when he read it though. "Well, I would say tell him how you feel and if he's an ass about it, call me up, I'll beat his ass for you!" I laughed a little at that, but he continued. "No, but just tell him. If he was your best friend he would at least listen to you, I hope, and if not, then you need a new best friend." _No dip, Sherlock._ "I'm sorry, that was all really hypocritical of me. I didn't listen to her. Well, I did listen, but I didn't fully comprehend it until it was too late. But just don't lose hope. It is literally the only thing that is keeping me going right now. This show will be short, sorry, but I'm really not in the mood. Just thought I'd check up on you all out there. We're gonna end tonight with a little bit from The Cure. This is 'Gone'." Music started playing and I recognized the song immediately. I loved The Cure and so did Edward. Just thinking his name hurt. I sang along softly as the music started to play.

_oh you know how it is  
wake up feeling blue  
and everything that could be wrong is  
including you  
black clouds and rain and pain in your head  
and all you want to do is stay in bed_

but if you do that you'll be missing the world  
because it doesn't stop turning whatever you heard  
if you do that you'll be missing the world  
you have to get up get out and get gone!

yeah you know how it is  
wake up feeling green  
sick as a dog and six times as mean  
you don't want to sing you don't want to play  
you don't want to swing you don't want to sway  
all you want to do is nothing  
on a day like today

but if you do that you'll be missing the world  
because it doesn't stop turning whatever you heard  
if you do that you'll be missing the world  
you have to get up get out and get gone!  
Yeah get up get out and have some fun  
you have to get up get out and get gone!  
Yeah get up get out and get it on  
get up get out and get gone!  
you have to get up get out and get living  
yeah this is really it...

so you know how it is  
wake up feeling grey  
nothing much to think and nothing much to say  
don't want to talk don't want to try  
don't want to think don't want to know  
who what where when or why...

oh but you do that and you're missing the world  
yeah it's happening right now whatever you heard  
you do that and you're missing the world  
you have to get up get out and get gone!  
Yeah get up get out and have some fun  
you have to get up get out and get gone!  
Yeah get up get out and get it on  
get up get out and get gone!  
You have to get up get out and get living  
yeah this is really it!

"Goodnight everybody and congrats to the football players, you guys were awesome. And to **Already Gone**, don't give up hope. If it's meant to be, it'll work out. But it could help if there was an added little push. I know I won't give up on her. And if she does know who I am and she's listening right now…Well, I'm sorry." I heard him sigh. "Alright, goodnight guys." The screen went black.

Great, now what do I do? Driving all the way to Florida seemed insane, especially in _my_ truck. I would defend him in a heartbeat, but even I knew my truck wouldn't make it far.

Yes, believe it or not, my truck was a 'him'.

His name is Pedro.

Why?

I really like Napoleon Dynamite.

He-who-shall-not-be-named and Charlie laughed when I told them that. I just rolled my eyes and walked away. Boys! _Pffftt! _At least I didn't obsess over a Volvo! I mean, could it be more girly? It looked like something my mom would drive and she enjoys pink things and ruffles. _I know scary, right? _

Stupid shiny Volvo owner!

Now, if some of you are still stuck on the 'who-shall-not-be-named' person, well then fine I'll tell you now, it's not Voldemort.

'Nuff said.

Anyways, I was now driving, anywhere but Forks, Washington, the place that will be remembered as Dream Crusher from now on. Or maybe that should be Voldemort's new nickname. Hey, it's shorter! In my head he shall be Dream Crusher. In public you shall be known as D.C. and not the one with the white house!

I wonder what Edward is doing right now?—

Wait, I mean Dream Crusher! And I don't care what he's doing! He's probably having victory sex with that slut, and completely forgotten about me, poor little fat Bella. Always a charity case. I wonder if that's why we were even friends. So he could climb the social ladder as one of the sweetest, hottest, most amazing person—

**(A/N: If you are afraid of crazy Bella/Bianca, then stop reading here! Warning: Continue at your own risk! Well, maybe I'm overreacting, but, hey it gets pretty…weird. I warned you!)**

_I mean, screw that bastard._

_But how could you fake so much of your life like that? _

_Actors do it all the time. _

_Yeah, but they got paid for that kind of thing. He has stood up for me so many times, too. And always making me smile and laugh. He always looked and seemed so genuine. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Lauren is an actual person. Or a good person at that. Maybe I made the wrong choice to leave. If he can see her in that way then I can try, too, right? _

Right?

I sighed. No, no I can't. It would kill me too much to see the person I love happy with someone else. I would want to be supportive and I couldn't do that with all the pain. I wouldn't be able to hide it and I know it, too. Look at me now. I'm a mess and this isn't even what I would feel compared to how I would feel if I had to see it every day. I mean, once was enough to break me completely. I couldn't live through that.

_Maybe in time, I will heal and be able to see him with someone else. _

_Or maybe you won't._

_Will you just shut the fuck up! I'm trying to think positive, why do you have to bring me down? I'm trying to forget and move on. You're not helping! Just go away! I don't even want to talk to you anymore._

Silence.

Is it bad when you scream at yourself to leave yourself alone? Sigh. Yeah, I thought so, too.

_I'm sorry._

Silence.

Ugh! I can't take this much quiet. Normally it would've been peaceful, but now I just want something loud and complicated. I didn't want to be able to think, so I flipped on the radio.

"Hey! Call in and Lucinda will try to seduce your man. Will he fall for it? Or does he—" Um, next! I pressed another button. Hmm, rock. No, it reminded me too much of Dream Crusher. Next! Rap/Hip-hop was safe ground, or so I thought. The music irritated me so much I just turned the damn thing off completely. I don't really need a distraction anyways; the voice in my head will come back eventually.

_No I won't._

_You're back!_

_Never went anywhere…_

_Oh…Well, now this is awkward. _

_Yeah…So, I heard you were having a problem with music?_

_Um, no, I don't have a problem. What makes you think that?_

_Just turn on the radio._

_Why—_

_Turn it on._

_Okay, okay. Jeez, pushy!_

I flipped on the radio, and waited a few seconds. Nothing came out, but then out of nowhere there were soft strumming. It was an acoustic guitar and it sounded like it was recorded on a cell-phone.

_What is this?_

_Just listen._

_She's a yellow pair of running shoes  
A holey pair of jeans  
She looks great in cheap sunglasses  
She looks great in anything  
She's I want a piece of chocolate  
Take me to a movie  
She's I can't find a thing to wear  
Now and then she's moody_

_She's a Saturn with a sunroof_  
_With her brown hair a-blowin __She's a soft place to land__  
__And a good feeling knowing__  
__She's a warm conversation  
That I wouldn't miss for nothing  
She's a fighter when she's mad  
And she's a lover when she's loving_

_And she's everything I ever wanted_  
_And everything I need_  
_I talk about her, I go on and on and on_  
_because she's everything to me_

_She's a Saturday out on the town_  
_And a church girl on Sunday_  
_She's a cross around her neck_  
_And a cuss word 'cause it's Monday_  
_She's a bubble bath and candles_  
_Will you come and kiss me_  
_She's a bright smile_  
_And I'm feeling kinda tipsy_

_She's the giver I wish I could be_  
_And the stealer of the covers_  
_She's a picture in my wallet_  
_Of my unborn children's mother_  
_She's the hand that I hold __When I'm on my knees and praying  
She's the answer to my prayer  
And she's the song that I'm playing  
_

_And she's everything I ever wanted __  
__and everything I need I talk about her, I go on and on and on __because she's everything to me_

_She's the voice I love to hear  
Someday when I'm ninety  
She's that wooden rocking chair  
I want rocking right beside me  
Everyday that passes  
I only love her more  
Yeah, she's the one  
That I'd lay down my own life for_

_And she's everything I ever wanted_  
_And everything I need_  
_She's everything to me_  
_Yeah she's everything to me_

_Everything I ever wanted_  
_And everything I need_  
_She's everything to me_  
_Yeah she's everything to me_  
_everything to me_

I sat in a stunned silence as the last note rang before I heard shuffling and a click_. _

_What the hell was that?_

_What did it sound like?_

_Was it…him? _His voice was deep and soulful, but there was also a little pain. Anyone could hear it._ Wait, how did you know that was playing?_

_I didn't. _

_Then why did you—_

_Don't question it. Now pay attention to the road. _

_Excuse you? Wait, at least answer one of my questions! Please? _Puppy-dog pouts worked the best. I think they still do, even if you're using them on yourself.

I could've sworn I heard a little sigh and I imagined someone rolling their eyes.

_Fine, yes. _

_Yes, you'll answer my question? _I was confused now.

_No, you big oaf. Yes, it was him. Now, pay attention to the road!_

I think I might've swerved off the road a little. Oh well, the streets were deserted anyways. He-who-shall-not-be-named (Dream Crusher seemed a little mean, now that I've calmed some.) has the most beautiful voice I've ever heard. It was soft and sweet, but powerful at the same time. Just like him.

_Why did you show me this? I need to let him go. I can't do this. Why do you keep being so…so…Unhelpful? _Well, that was a word for it.

_I'm helping you. You just don't know it yet. It's going to hurt now, but if you have faith, it will get better. You will get better. There's an airport in the next twenty miles or so. You're almost gone, so just pay attention to the roads. _

I was surprised by how much time had already passed. Arguing with yourself is a great way to pass time. I wonder if I could make a career of it, like Jeff Dunham. Probably not, he had puppets to make him seem less crazy. I'd probably be put in a mental hospital. Hell, I should be in a mental hospital now, checking myself in for reasons of insanity. I blame video games.

The voice in my head snorted. _Yeah, and rap music._

_I knew I liked you._ I smiled. An actual smile. _If_ _I could hug myself…Oh wait, I can!_

_But I would rather live, so keep your hands on the wheel!_

_Oh, ha ha, sorry!_

_Not that far now, make a left and then keep going straight._

_Okay, I think I got it, thanks._

_No problem._

_Silence settled over me, but this time I didn't freak out._

_Can I ask you a question?_

_I can't promise an answer._

_Fair enough._

_So…?_

_How did you know? He doesn't like the attention like that, so I doubt he would put it on the radio._

For a moment there was nothing but the sound of Pedro roaring away, then a sigh.

_Elizabeth. She recorded him playing this song tonight. And that wasn't the radio. It was…it was actually live, so while he played, you heard the whole thing. _

_How is that possible?_

_It's…complicated. _Silence, this time strained. _Turn here._ I did as I was told and turned, while storing this new information for later.

I always knew Ed—I mean He-who-shall-not-be-named—was musically gifted, but I never knew he was that _amazing. _I remember he wouldn't play for an audience because of a rule his mother had.

_**FLASHBACK**_

_**The young girl and her best friend were at his house. The girl was trying to persuade her best friend to play her a song. The boy refused constantly, only saying how his mother had one rule when it came to music, no showing off. **_

_**Of course, the girl argued, saying how she didn't mind and that he should brag as much as he wanted to. The boy didn't waste time in whipping out a quick remark in record time. **_

"_**My mother has always said I am not supposed to show off," The boy argued a losing battle for about the hundredth time. He sighed and walked to the small leather couch in his room. His best friend sat beside him, still arguing her case.**_

"_**You're not showing off for me. It's me, Bella, your best friend! I've known you forever and I promise I won't laugh at how bad it sounds." She changed her tactic last minute, trying to go at him a different way. He was always up for a challenge, and the girl knew that. The boys eyes flashed before he quickly covered it.**_

_**Shaking his head, he sighed. As he opened his mouth to speak a voice from the door cut him off. "Edward, come on and show Bella how well you can really play. I mean, she's your best friend, I bet if she could do something great she would share it with you," After the words left the boy's mother's mouth, she froze. "I mean, I didn't mean it like that, Bella, I just—" But the girl cut her off.**_

"_**Its okay, Mrs. Masen, I get what you're saying." The girl smiled smugly down at the boy.**_ Now he had no way to refuse! _**The girl gave him a pointed look as if to say **_'Go ahead, tell your mom no. Do it.'_** The boy sighed again, but walked towards the door. "Thanks Mrs. Masen!" The girl called back to the woman standing in the doorway as the boy and girl walked down the hallway.**_

"_**It's Elizabeth, Bella," The woman reminded the girl. The girl knew this, obviously, but old habits die hard.**_

"_**Right," The girl called back. That was the day the girl decided that her best friend was perfect. Oh, how wrong she was…**_

_**END FLASHBACK**_

The airport was coming into view and I sighed in relief. I decided I would call Charlie when I'm half way across the country, just to be safe. I don't think he would take the news too well, but I couldn't stay in Forks, like mother like daughter.

I wonder if I should call my mom…?

Nah, she likes surprises, not sure about Phil, though.

Oh, well.

* * *

**Jesus. You guys were warned. Not expecting that were you? Sorry for leaving for a while! After that computer breakdown my family kinda went through something really bad and I've been coping with it since. I literally sat down and stared at a blank document for what felt like forever until I just started typing! And then I couldn't stop and this is what you get at 3:51 in the morning. Yeah, that explains the content in this chapter. **

**Maybe you could think about reviewing? Or you could do it, ya know, I would like if you did it. Wow, did that sound dirty? Maybe it's me; I mean it is 3:52 now! Ah, well I'm going to sleep, so bye! Hope you enjoyed it! (:**

**Oh and the songs were 'Gone' By: The Cure and 'She's everything' By: Brad Paisley. (-Changed some lyrics in that one) Two different styles in the same chapter. Uh-huh, I went there. (; **


	5. Cats rule the world!

**Okay, so if my calculations are correct, the trip to Seattle was about 2-3 hours, right? Okay, and then the plane trip to Florida is 4-5 hours, I think. And then from the airport to her mom's house shouldn't be so long, so Bella should get there around 12-1 PM roughly, right? And just to make it clear, I've never been on a plane; I'll basically be making it all up! Well, on with the story! (:**

**P.S. I just got an email saying I made it into the top 4 with my story Speak Bella, so if you wanna vote for me go to this page: **Everlastingtwilightawards(dot)yolasite(dot)com **and replace the (dot)'s with .'s! Thank you for everything! You guys are awesome! (:**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own 'nuffin! (;**

* * *

I hate planes.

Don't get me wrong, the idea of getting away from Washington as fast as possible was great, but the whole flying in a big metal bird didn't really work for me. I was fine walking into the airport. Calm when I bought my ticket. At one point whistling waiting for my flight, perfectly at ease, but now, well, let's just say I was freaking out. And that's putting it mildly.

As I sat in my seat, things like plane crashes and 9-11 kept popping into my head and I prayed to the god above that he would let one good thing happen to me tonight. Funny how religious you can get when you're desperate.

Well, actually I wasn't desperate.

Well, maybe a little, but that's not the point.

The point is; I hate planes. Simple, right? Yeah, no.

No one has called me yet, so I'm guessing Charlie is either a) not home or b) _otherwise preoccupied._

_Gross._ That was a mental image I could've lived without. I know when you get older and you figure out where babies come from and how mommy and daddy make babies, but still you never want a visual of your parents doing the nasty.

You know how some people can block unwanted memories? Yeah, well, I was not blessed with that gift. I can still remember that day Charlie decided to have 'The Talk'. Or tried to, anyway.

_***FLASHBACK***_

"_**Hey, Bells, I need to, uh, talk to you. Um, yeah, in the living room, please." The girl's father gestured with his hands, before stuffing them in his pockets. **_

_**The girl was now older, almost out seventh grade now, and she was about to head out to her best friend's house. Her dad knew this, so she was confused. "What do you need, dad?" Her father's face was red and he looked like he was having a hard time with words. He looked up at the girl and quickly looked down again, not completely sure how he was going to start. The girl frowned, worrying she did something wrong. "Dad, what's wrong?" She was really scared now.**_

_**Her dad sighed, but looked up. "We need to have the talk." The girls eyes widened, more scared than before. **_

"_**Dad, I don't think we do." She shook her head, trying to get out of this situation. The girl's face was as red as her father's now. He wanted to have 'The Talk'; you know the birds and the bees, the sex talk! The girl's father stood.**_

"_**No, we need to have it. I don't want to either, but—" She cut off her father.**_

"_**No, dad, we don't. The school kinda does it about two weeks every year since fifth grade." Now, this just made it more awkward, she thought.**_

"_**What!" The girl's dad looked torn between relieved and angry. **_

"_**I know the basics about it and I'm sure it hasn't changed much. Plus, it's, um, still kinda early, don't you think?" This was the hint. Take it, please take it! The girl was mortified; she couldn't even look at her father. **_

_**He cleared his throat. "Alright, just be careful. Um, have fun tonight. Be back before ten, it's a school night." Then he sat down in his recliner and resumed whatever was playing. The girl took this as her cue to leave, so she did. Her best friend's parents were waiting outside and she smiled sheepishly at Elizabeth before climbing in the back with her friend.**_

"_**What took so long?" Her friend asked, raising an eyebrow, silently questioning her blush.**_

"_**Charlie had the, erm," She cleared her throat. "We had 'The Talk'." The girl visibly shuddered as her friend burst into hysterics. "Shush! It's not funny. Sticking two awkward people in the same room talking about sex is not cool, especially when the people are father and daughter!" She shuddered again. Her friend was still laughing and his mother raised an eyebrow in the rearview mirror before winking at her son's best friend. The little girl knew that the little boy wouldn't be laughing for long…**_

_***END FLASHBACK***_

A chill ran through my spine just reliving that memory. Yeah, to say things were awkward when I got back that night would be true.

Wait, ew! Change the subject! I don't even want to think about this!

Okay…subject change….

Uh, think, Bella!

"I like potatoes!" Shock froze me where I sat. Crap! I said that out loud, didn't I?

_Yep._

_Dang it, I really need to—Hey, you're back! _

_Never went anywhere._ I could literally hear a sigh.

_Oh. _

_There's a weird looking old guy staring at you._

_What?_ I turned around and sure enough, there was an elderly guy a few seats back, staring unabashedly. He looked to be in his late forties, maybe early fifties and his gray hair covered about half his head. For some reason he didn't look away when I caught him staring, he just seemed to continue, like it wasn't weird to stare at people you don't know.

Piece of advice: It is.

What do I do to make him stop looking at me? Should I ignore it? Well, I can't ignore it; I can practically feel his eyes burning a hole in my back. Maybe if I growled. That always seemed to work for Voldemort. I mean He-who-shall—No never mind, I'm calling him Voldemort.

The voice in my head snorted_. Yeah, because it wouldn't be weird when you tell people you moved across the country to escape Voldemort. Nice._

_Shut up! No one asked you. It's just He-who-shall-not-be-named is way too long! _

_Well, you could call him by his name…_

I pretended to think about it. _Nah, I'm good._

The old dude was still staring and I didn't really want to growl and embarrass myself anymore, so I just turned back in my seat and waited.

And waited…

Until, finally, the stewardess came over the intercom and told us we were about to take off soon. Thank you, Jesus! I turned around again and noticed the creepy old man wasn't staring at me anymore. Woo! Two in a row!

Could this get any better?

"Excuse me." A nasally voice broke through my moment of happiness and my head snapped up to see a pair of icy blue eyes. My seat was the seat next to the aisle, because I wouldn't be able to sit next to the window without freaking out. This girl had bleach blonde hair and she looked like she had a nose job. Her mouth was covered in thick, bright red lipstick and it was set in a thin line.

Okay, so I was tired as fudge (!), but even though I wanted to just fall asleep and forget everything for a little while, I really, really wanted to mess with her. Hey, I had to get my frustrations out somehow…

Putting a blank expression on my face, I looked at the girl. "Yes?" Oh, she looks aggravated. "Can I help you?" I asked, smiling sweetly.

"You can move your fat ass to let me get in my seat." Steam was practically blowing out of her ears. Well, someone has a temper. "Like, now." That glare will get you nowhere, honey.

"What's the magic word?" I smirked. She looked like she wanted to smack me, when really it should be the other way around. You can't talk to people like this.

"Fuck you."

"Err! Sorry, that was wrong. Try again." Was I enjoying this? Uh-huh, you bet I am!

"Ugh! You know what? Fine! Please will you move?" She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. Oooh, scary.

_And you wonder why you're about to get punched in the face._

_It's not my fault she's a bitch._

"This is my seat. Why would I move?" I was about to crack. I could feel the smile slowly creeping across my face, but that was only the beginning. Biting my lip, I tried to keep in the laughter. She stared at me and huffed before attacking me. Shocked, I just let her try to hit me, but it wasn't really hurting. A guy from the row across went to grab her quickly and I couldn't help it—I started laughing. A stewardess came over and helped the man calm the crazy lady before coming back over to me.

"I apologize for that ma'am, but I have to ask that you come with me for a moment." She looked tired, so I went without a fight.

"Am I not going to be able to fly?" That sounds weird. I hope she understands what I mean.

"No, you are, but we need a statement and an explanation to why that woman attacked you." I nodded and followed her out of the plane where there was an airport security woman waiting.

She offered a small smiled. "Hello, ma'am, can you come with me, please?" The stewardess smiled and turned walking away as the officer led me to a room to the side. The room looked like a high school front office with only a handful of rooms leading off to the side with doors and one big receptionist desk in the middle, cutting the room in half. The lady who attacked me was sitting in a plastic chair closest to the door with a bathroom sign on it. By the scowl on her face, I could tell she didn't pick that seat.

The airport security lady led me to a chair as far away from the girl as possible, which was only about five or six chairs away. She glared at me and I completely ignored her.

I don't think she liked that.

Oh, well.

Someone came out to take the girl's statement—away from me—and from the glass separating us, I could tell she had come up with some crazy tale. Or maybe she was telling the truth. I couldn't see the person at the desk, because the chick was standing in front of them now, but I think it was a guy. Or a really butch lady.

I was sitting calmly in my seat when the girl walked out and an officer took her out the doors, going somewhere I couldn't see. Another officer came and told me to walk into the room that the girl just left. Standing, I felt how tired I am. My knees wobbled and my eyes wanted to drift shut on their own. It took everything in me to make sure I walked the short distance into that room to give my statement, so I could leave. Leave Washington. Leave Forks. Leave the world for a few hours to sleep. Leave all my problems and issues. Leave everything I know. And forget. For a few hours I just want to forget every promise, every hope and dream. Forget all the love and loss. Forget friendships. Forget my life and start over. Start fresh with new hopes and dreams. With new friends, loves, promises.

With a new me.

Walking into the room, the first thing I noticed was that the person sitting in the desk had many photos on their walls. Of cats. A cat of every different shape, size, and color flooded her wall space. No cat looked to be placed there twice, even though there were many who looked similar. My eyes narrowed in on a frame, which was the largest, hanging below an orange, Garfield-looking cat, and above a cat that was thin and as black as night. The frame itself looked to be expensive, with its intricate designs of vines wrapped tightly around various objects. It was a familiar bronze color and I winced, remembering something I would like to forget. The cat itself looked to be pampered, stuck-up, one of those show animals. It was as white as snow and had piercing blue eyes. Its fur seemed well groomed, and looked soft, like cotton. The cat was posing sitting with its back legs, and standing with its front. Its nose was in the air, as if saying it was better then you. How could an animal look so…pretentious?

"My pride and joy, that one." My head snapped instinctively to the voice and I realized I had been staring at the picture for a while. The woman behind the desk was indeed, butch, and if I passed her in the streets and she did not talk, I would've thought her a man. Even though her appearance may have been manlier, her voice was feminine and girly. It reminded me of my mom in a way. Not the butch part, the voice. The woman sitting behind the desk was wearing a simple gray suit and her sandy blonde hair was cropped short, in a boy cut. Her familiar green eyes were less shiny than I was used to and looked tired. Her mouth was set in a thin line, showing no emotion. "Sit." It wasn't a question.

I sat down and the woman appeared to be analyzing me the way I did her. After a moment of silence, she sighed and rubbed her eyes.

"There has been a problem, yes?" I nodded, and she continued. "Well, can you tell me exactly what happened so we can fix it?" I nodded again and proceeded to re-tell the story, watching her face change as she tried to hide her amusement. I pointed out that she could've sat down at any time, but she remained standing in the aisle. I told how the girl finally got aggravated and decided to attack me.

"And now here I am…" I trailed off, finishing my story. She was nodding her head and for a moment she smiled, before she covered up again.

Her elbows rested on the desk, her thumbs twiddling away, while I waited for her to speak. Finally, she sighed and looked at me again. "You seem like a truthful girl. More truthful than the other story," She paused. "Well, if you want to press charges there is an officer waiting outside the room. If you don't then, go back to your plane and have a safe trip. We will move you away from the woman, but she will still be flying also. Some may say you provoked her, but, like you said, she could've sat down any time she wanted to. So, what would you like to do?"

Without hesitation I replied, "I would not like to press charges," I stood from my chair, thanked her, and exited the room away from all the watchful eyes of the cats.

Like the woman said, there was an officer who asked if I were to press charges and I declined, so she took my arm and led me back to my plane. There the stewardess was waiting patiently. She smiled softly and I returned it.

"Ma'am, I apologize for that incident earlier. If you follow me, I will take you to your new seat." The officer walked away while the stewardess strutted in the opposite direction. I followed the stewardess. When we re-entered she led me past my old seat, where the girl sat glaring at nothing in particular, and kept walking until we made it to a curtain. Confused, I looked at the woman. She wasn't looking at me, but pulling open the curtain and continued walking. I looked around and noticed many more sleeping people than there was before. They must've allowed more people on when I was gone. Can they even do that?

"Ma'am?" My head whipped around to see the lady at the end of the other hall past the curtain. She was staring at me curiously, waiting for me to join her. I scrambled down the other aisle of sleeping people, reaching her, waiting for her to point out my seat. "Right this way," She pointed towards another curtain divider and I sighed. There were a few empty seats here. Why could I not take one?

"Here is your seat, ma'am. If you need anything, just ask." Her voice drifted from the other end of the curtain. Moving the curtain aside, my mouth dropped open in shock.

"Um, there must be some mistake. This is a first-class seat. I didn't pay for this." The seats looked like a recliner and there was a T.V. directly in front of the seat on the back of the seat in front of me. There weren't many people in here as there were in the other parts of the plane, but these people, too, were sleeping. The stewardess hushed me. She _hushed_ me!

"Ma'am, please just sit down and enjoy it. It is… a gift from Mrs. Adams. She would be very displeased if you did not accept." Mrs. Adams? Who the fudge is Mrs. Adams?

"Who is Mrs. Adams?" At least I left out "The fudge". I'm trying.

"The woman you gave your statement to. She said you seemed like a nice, smart girl. She also said you looked tired and would need somewhere proper to rest, so she switched your ticket. She said you look like you've had a rough day." I blinked, shocked. I didn't even know the lady and she gave me a first-class ticket.

"Please tell her thank you for me. She is a very kind woman." The stewardess nodded and walked off. I sat in the chair and couldn't help but mold myself deeper, relaxing all my tense muscles and releasing all the tension in me. The chair was soft, so soft. Before I realized it, my eyes were drifting closed, slipping into a dream about fat cats ruling the world…

* * *

**So, did you like it? I don't even know if I like it. Maybe. So, Bella already got into a fight, and Charlie is otherwise preoccupied…Gross. Okay, um review if you liked it? Review if you hated it! Review, please…? (: Thanks for anyone still with me. I know my updating schedule is weird, but I've been trying to write for days, but my sister stole my computer so she could do her project for class. That chick needs her own computer! Well, thanks again for reading, reviewing, being awesome…XD No, but you guys are great! (:**

**-Biancalove97 **


	6. Alone

**Alright, so I live in Florida, not Jacksonville, but Orlando, so I'm getting a lot of my inspiration just staring at the ocean. I'm hanging out in a hotel on the beach, stealing the wifi from somewhere around here. I'm in Daytona for my cousin's quince, and then we're leaving for Minnesota! We're waiting to hear back from family while "stuff" happens. That's all I'm allowed to know. Fudged up, if you ask me. Of course, they didn't. **

**Anyways, whatever with my personal problems! Here's the next chapter of Perfectly Made! Uh, the show part with the coaches is coming soon, so just please be patient! You guys rock…my socks…off! Yeah, so that's why I'm cold? No, I'm freaking hot! I think we're having a heat wave or something. I don't know. I don't watch the weather! ;D**

**DISCLAIMER: I own 'nuffin! (;**

Have you ever been to a Florida beach? You know how in movies there is crystal clear water and pale soft sand? The sun would beat down on your body, warming your skin slightly, while the gentle breeze blew your hair around your face. The sky would be the clearest blue you've ever seen and the humidity wasn't so bad that the actors' hair stayed flat, and didn't poof up like a sheep dog? Or how about the smell? Doesn't Glade have a candle called, _Ocean Breeze_? I'm pretty sure it smells good.

Yeah, no.

I mean, the beach was nice. The water was different shades of blue and in some places greenish brown. I didn't like to look at those parts. The sand was pale and soft, but also very hot! I blame the sun. There was a light breeze blowing, but it was small and barely did anything, but fan my hair in my face.

An hour ago, this lady passed out; had a heat stroke. They started handing out mini water bottles after that.

And have you ever really smelled a real Ocean Breeze scent? It didn't smell anything like the candle, though. Kinda salty.

Reminded me of fish.

Which, reminded me of Charlie.

Which, reminded me of Forks.

Which, reminded me of things I would not like to think about.

But kinda did anyways.

I tried, but it was always there nagging in the back of my mind. Well, recently. Earlier the thing nagging my mind was Renee.

Turns out, she doesn't like surprises anymore.

I blame Phil.

Anyways, when I made it off the plane—unharmed, thank you—I caught a cab to Renee's. The cab driver gave me a dirty look, but I just ignored him, staring out the window, noticing the bright blue sky, instead of the dreary gray one I'm so used to. I tried to ignore the tug in my chest, so I asked the cab driver if he could turn on some music.

Apparently, I look like the type of person who wants to listen to techno. Definitely not, but I asked him to turn it on and it felt weird to ask him to switch it off, so I bobbed my head, hoping I was in time with the music.

The ride seemed short enough as I stared out the window again, bobbing my head, probably looking like a complete idiot. The street signs passed in a blur, and before I realized it, the cab pulled up to Renee's house.

Renee always liked bright colors and things that made her feel young—a reason I think she married Phil for, other than love, of course—But her house was just…glowing.

And not in a good way.

The bright yellow reminded me of one of those lamps that you put the little chicken egg under, so it will keep the chick warm, because its mother isn't there. Yeah, our school did that in kindergarten. To teach kids responsibility or something. I remember we had scheduled times to watch the egg and make sure it was okay, skipping recess in the process. I still remember my first time watching it…

_**FLASHBACK**_

_**The little girl was extremely nervous. Today, the day of right now, as in, today…yeah, she was dreading it. Her mother assured her it would be fine, as did her father, but none of them mattered, until her best friend said it. After he made sure she knew she would be fine, she felt fine. **_

_**For the moment. **_

_**Well, really until he walked out of the room, leaving for recess with all the other kids. Of course, they wouldn't leave a child alone in a classroom, so there was always an adult, whether a PTA mom, or a custodian, there was always someone there. **_

_**Today, it was Miss. Laird. She was a young lady, maybe mid-twenties, and she had honey-blonde hair. Currently, her class was in lunch, since she was a first grade teacher. Her eyes were a soft blue and they held a kindness that the little girl always loved to see. She hoped that when she was in first grade, this would be her teacher, because you could tell she loved her job. **_

_**Today, though, Miss. Laird was busy, working through a stack of papers, while occasionally looking up and making sure the girl was okay. She was, obviously, but she still checked every few minutes. **_

_**A few weeks ago, the teacher announced that they would be gaining a new addition to their classroom. Of course, everyone thought it would be a puppy, or maybe even a lizard, but no, it was a little white egg. One kid almost tried to eat it, saying his mommy made eggs like that all the time. The teacher scolded the kid and explained to the rest of the class that after a certain amount of time, the egg would hatch and a baby chick would come out. And we would take care of it until it grew and would be given to the high school kids in the agriculture program. Of course, these big words made no sense to the children, so she just said it was a chicken, earning a chorus of, "Ohhh," which made her chuckle. **_

_**The teacher told the children it was very important work and they had to make sure they were responsible enough to handle it. The little girl was excited and so was her best friend, but she was also nervous. What if the egg fell and broke? The baby chick would die and the little girl couldn't live with being a murderer. Her best friend assured her she would be fine, but when her best friend was out of sight, so were his words. Of course, she missed her friend, her only friend, but he didn't seem to mind playing dolls as long as they could race cars later. There's always a compromise. **_

_**The classroom door creaked open, snapping the girl out of her memories. She quickly checked the egg to see that it hadn't moved an inch, and then looked at the door. **_

_**Her best friend was standing in the doorway; a crooked grin graced his lips while he gave her a thumbs up, and then pointed to the egg. In other words, he said good job. He mouthed the words, "You can do this," before ducking back out the door just as Miss. Laird walked out, a large stack of files in her hand, smiling smugly. **_

"_**Well, I'm finish with this and you only have a few minutes left, so why don't you go outside and play?" She asked, smiling brightly, still proud of finishing so much work so quickly. The little girl nodded her head, smiling and racing out the door almost running into her best friend. They smiled at each other before he asked. **_

"_**What are you doing? I thought you were supposed to watch the chicken?" His voice was low in a whisper, like it was a conspiracy or something. **_

"_**The teacher said I could play for few minutes." She replied smiling smugly. "What are you doing?" **_

"_**Waiting…" his reply was vague, but she didn't dwell on that, because the teacher walked up. **_

"_**Isabella, what's wrong?" **_

"_**Umm…" Miss. Laird decided to walk out then. **_

"_**The chicken is hatching," She told the teacher, excitedly. The teacher's eyes widened and she started gathering the kids from recess while the little girl and her best friend watched Paco being born. Well, hatched. **_

_**END FLASHBACK**_

Paco, at first, didn't look like the little baby chickens you see in books. Instead of the fluffy yellow feathers and cute little body, we got a brownish-red one that had its feathers patted down, thinner than I imagined, almost looking as if they were wet. The color of the chick reminded me of His hair, so I loved him, even though he looked like a dirty rat.

After a while, the baby chick grew, earning thicker feathers, its coloring becoming more pronounced, introducing shades of orange and yellow that weren't seen before. Paco wasn't its official name or anything, but me and…we liked to call him that. The teacher and the rest of the class didn't approve, wanting something cuter, like Winnie, or baby, something typical and boring. I forgot what they settled on, but I knew we didn't follow that rule and called him Paco, whispering if someone else was around, always afraid we were going to be in trouble for having a different name.

So young…

If I would've known this is how it would've played out, I would've been different. I wouldn't have been so love-struck. I wouldn't hurt as much as I did now. I could have met someone who could love me back as much as I loved them without fearing the pain of losing both love and friendship.

But look at me now, sitting on the beach in Florida, the waves washing away my pain only to bring it back seconds later.

I was pathetic…

Sigh. Anyways…when I pulled up in front of Renee's house and had one of my "moments" I continued up the pathway, hearing waves soothing in and drifting out, and smelling the fishy scent. The ocean almost calmed me, easing some of the nerves I held on the drive over. I was worried for many reasons, most of them causing worst-case scenarios, like Renee sending me back, or maybe she acted indifferent and forgot who I was, like, "What daughter?"

I know some of them were a little over the top, but no matter how hard I tried; the thoughts wouldn't leave me alone.

The house had a wrap-around porch that I actually loved. The shutters were the whitest white I've ever seen, matching the rail on the porch. The house was blinding in all, but it was Renee. That's all the explanation needed, really.

Dragging my bags up the few steps onto the front porch, I sighed heavily, dropping the bags ungracefully in a heap on the floor. Stepping over the mess I made, I hobbled over to the door, lifting my fingers, hesitating only briefly, before knocking softly three times.

Loud footsteps echoed through the house, coming closer to the door, as well as a voice.

"Renee, we need to leave in ten minutes tops if you want to make it in time. You know how they get when we're late and…" The door swung open, revealing a well-dressed Phil. "Oh, hey…Um, Bella?"

No, Santa Claus.

"Uh, yeah, hey, Phil," I lifted my hand waving half-heartedly. His shocked expression never wavered as the clacking of heels followed him down the hallway.

"Honey, I'm ready. Who's at the door?" She pushed him aside, coming face-to-face with me.

"Hey, mom," Again, I waved shortly. Her face softened, but she looked sad. Why did she look sad? Shouldn't she be happy she had her daughter back? I knew she wouldn't want me here.

"Hey, honey." Her voice wavered slightly, trying to sound cheery. "What are you doing here?"

Gee, mom, I love you, too.

"Um, actually, I was wondering if—." The sound of a phone ringing cut me off and Phil looked over his shoulder quickly walking over to answer the phone, disappearing from my sight. Renee gave me a look to continue. "I was, um, wondering if I could, uh," I was a stuttering mess, that's what I was.

"Isabella, just say it, already. Phil and I have somewhere we need to go." Oh, okay, then. Since when was Renee so blunt? Oh, and since when am I Isabella? I seriously almost did that whole head roll thing, snapping my fingers in a zigzag form. Almost.

Huffing, I replied. "I left Forks to spend my last year with you. I kinda hoped you would be happy, though," I admitted, feeling like a complete idiot.

She scowled. "Isabella," Really, are you serious? "You can't just come to someone's house unannounced and expect me to be happy about it. You didn't even ask. What if I was gone on…I mean what if I didn't want you here right now?" Ouch. I really feel the love radiating off of you, mom.

"Mom, if you don't want me here, I'll leave and be in a motel, but I'm not going back to Forks," I tried to keep the desperation out of my voice, but I could still hear it. "Can you give me directions to the nearest motel or are you going to make me figure out where it is by myself?" I could hear the bitterness in my tone, but at this point I didn't care.

She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose between her pointer finger and thumb. While she was doing this, I backed away, picking my bags bag up, throwing the strap of the duffel bag over my shoulder. "Wait," She sighs. Turning around I see her looking me up and down, checking me for something. I almost had the urge to look and see if there was something on my shirt. She scowled when her eyes reached mine, so I guess she didn't like what she saw. Rolling my eyes, I turned back around, walking down the steps. I heard her footsteps following me. "I said to wait, young lady," Her tone was scolding, but I could hear a faint hint of disgust.

Why is she acting like a bitch?

"Mom, I heard you, okay, but I'm not going to be here if you don't want me. I'm sorry for invading on your perfect worry-free life. I really am, but I just had too many problems in the last twenty-four hours to deal with you, too, so say what you have to say, because I should leave so I can get a room." She seemed taken aback by my outburst, but I just waited patiently for her to speak.

Her shock wore off eventually and she sighed, smoothing an invisible wrinkle in her dress. "Do you want something to drink?" The question was so unexpected, I blanched. In my moment of shock, she grabbed hold of one of my bags, bringing it inside with her, leaving me standing at the bottom of the stairs in shock. "Are you coming inside? You can stay in the guest room, it has the best view." Renee called from inside. Shaking my head, I walked up the steps slowly, not feeling comfortable enough to just waltz in, so I crawled at a snail's pace, trying to prevent the inevitable. Renee appeared in the doorway then, watching me curiously.

I knew she was now itching to figure out what I was really doing here, but she didn't say anything aloud, yet.

"So, why are you really here?" Took sooner than I thought.

"Um," Finally walking through the threshold, I noticed Phil ending his phone call. He walked over to us, wrapping his arms around Renee's waist.

"Bella," He nodded towards me, then leaning in to whisper—loudly, I might add—into her ear. "We really have to go, now." His voice was demanding and I almost told him not to talk to my mom like that, but she just smiled and nodded her head, unwrapping his arms around her and linking an arm with me.

"Of course, just let me show Isabella to her room," Your husband—my step-father—calls me Bella, but you can't? What the fudge. Phil's eyebrows shot up, but Renee shot him a warning glance. Nodding towards Phil, we walked through the hallway, towards a set of stairs that were next to the back door, in the kitchen. The back door was open, but the screen was closed, so I could see the ocean through the grainy screen.

Leading me up the stairs she pointed out different rooms, like the bathroom, the second guest room, their room, and finally my room. The walls in the hallway were a duller version of the white outside, so the inside wasn't as bright as the outside. An array of photos were littered all over the walls, most f them from weddings and vacations that I didn't know they went on. Each one had a story that Renee had to share.

By the time we made it to my room, I could write a book of the past few years of my mom's life.

"And this is your room," She opened a door at the end of the hall. "It faces the beach and has a balcony and everything! The closet is decent size and the room is quite large, I think you'll like it." She rambled on as I walked in setting my bag on the large queen size bed in the middle. The room was a soft baby blue, with streaks of white, making it look like a sky with clouds, or a wave when it breaks. The bed looked soft and plush, with a white duvet covering the top. The pillow cases were light blue and the closet door was white. There was a set of French doors leading out into the balcony which reminded me of some kind of fairytale. The dressers were plain white, one short and long and the other skinny and tall. There were two small nightstands on each side of the bed. There was still enough room for about ten people to stand in here comfortably.

The room was three times the size I had in Forks, but somehow it didn't feel like home.

"Renee!" Phil called from downstairs. "We really have to get going!" He seemed stressed and something told me he didn't want me here.

"Coming!" She yelled back, before turning back to me. "Okay, so if you need anything, you have my number. I've got to go, but make yourself at home. We'll be back late, so you can make yourself dinner or something." She seemed distracted and started straightening her dress and hair before saying goodbye and walking downstairs.

Well, now what do I do?

Checking over my shoulder back at the balcony, I decided to hang out on the beach for a while. Running my hand through my hair, I could feel the oil thick in my hair and felt gross from not showering in more than a day. Checking the hallway closet for a towel, I grabbed a fluffy white one that looked big enough and found my way to the bathroom Renee pointed out. Turning the water to the right temperature, I climbed in letting the water cascade down my back, relaxing under the hot spray.

Once the water started to run cold, I shut off the water, reaching out for my towel, wrapping my body up as much as I could. The towel was fluffy, like really big. Standing in front of the mirror, I wiped off the steam and looked at myself, really checked myself out.

I didn't know who this person was. How did I become this? My hair was matted around my head, dripping down my back, limply hanging there. My skin looked soft and pale, but chubby cheeks. My dark brown eyes stood out from my pale skin and I cast my eyes elsewhere. My body was shapeless under the towel, but the portion of my legs that peeked out from under the towel were thick and pale, also. Backing away some, I examined the way my legs rubbed together when I walked, or how pasty they looked.

Sighing, I wrapped the towel tighter around myself before exiting the bathroom, turning off the light as I left.

Back in my room, I pulled out my duffel bag, setting it on my bed. Unzipping it, I realized all I had was jeans and sweaters. Maybe even a few t-shirts, but mostly winter clothes. Groaning, I shuffled through everything until I found underwear and a bra, along with a pair of sweatpants and a Forks high junior t-shirt. Not even bothering with shoes, I padded back downstairs and out the back door onto the back porch. Walking down the few steps, my feet felt the soft sand mixed with stray pieces of grass and small bushes here and there.

There were a few families just hanging out on the beach over here and I guessed it was the people who live in the other houses, because there weren't many out, though it was a warm sunny day, perfect for a trip to the beach.

The other people stared at me as I walked down the pathway into the open, probably wondering who the newbie was.

Would it be weird to wave?

Yeah, I thought so, too.

Walking little ways, I still settled near the back, people watching near the grassier areas.

So, here I was, thinking about things I didn't want to think about, probably getting sunburn from just sitting here, and absolutely alone.

**Well…0.o **

**What do you think? Renee will be bitchy now, but there's a reason, so don't hate her, yet! Uh, review? Speak Bella is coming soon, as well as The Cullen's and Bella read New Moon, so watch out for those! (:**

**-Bianca**


	7. High Class Hookers and Tinker Bell

**Okay, so this chapter is kinda me rambling so far. The part where the TV show and junk is coming, but I have to build up to that, ya know? So, that being said, can you pleaseeeeee be a little patient? I know that's a lot to ask, considering my writing schedule (Pffftt, what schedule? (; jkjk), but it would be much appreciated! Thanks.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own 'nuffin! (; **

Renee was gone the rest of the day, not returning until the early hours of morning. I wondered where she went and could only come to one conclusion; my mom was a prostitute.

Kidding!

…Kinda.

I mean, what do you expect me to think?

First, she was all bitchy and moan-y—mad or stressed. Probably the pain of her life choice.

Secondly, in the middle of the afternoon she was dressed like she was going to a fancy dinner.

Maybe she's a high-class hooker?

Thirdly, Phil was rushing her out, even though her daughter, whom she hasn't seen in years, is standing right there.

Was she running late for an appointment?

Do hookers schedule appointments?

Well, she was high-class…

The shrill ringing of a phone snapped me out of my reverie.

Looking around nervously, I wondered if I should answer it. Like when you're at a friend's house and they're in the bathroom when the phone starts to ring. I mean, the only real friend's house I've been to was…_His_, but it's not like I really had this exact type of situation …Well, uh, maybe I kinda did.

_***Flashback***_

_**The little girl and her best friend were sitting together in the boy's living room floor, lounging on top of mountains of blankets and pillows, quietly working on homework.**_

"_**What did you get for number four?" The young boy asked his best friend, rubbing his temples as his eyebrows furrowed. **_

"_**You're only on number four?" The girl asked, shocked. The two best friends were now freshmen in high school and their first assignment was a worksheet on perfection. After that, they were supposed to write an essay on the same subject. **_

_**The girl just finished outlining the essay and was working on the opening paragraph, almost describing her best friend unconsciously. She sighed. This was supposed to be an essay answering the question on whether perfection should be sought after or admired, not a bad romance novel you can buy from Wal-Mart. **_

"_**I'm sorry, but the question is so vague. I have no clue how to answer it." The boy pretended to pout, seemingly hurt by his friends tone. **_

"_**Sorry," The girl chuckled. "Uh, number four…If you could choose to be perfect in any and every form, would you?" The girl only hesitated momentarily, because this was her best friend, whom she told everything to, this being no exception. "Um, I don't know if you want to put my answer, but I put, 'If I had the choice to be perfect, I wouldn't. Perfection is hard to define, because, really, has anyone ever found perfection? Sure, it is hoped for, but has it ever really been defined? In the dictionary, perfection is said to be entirely without flaws, defects, or shortcoming, but has there ever been a time where someone could give an example of perfection with unanimous agreement? If by perfection it means, I have flawless shiny hair, polite manners, never a bad thought, always a lady, never dirty, beautiful, fit…I would refuse. Our flaws make us who we are, whether good or bad. I couldn't live to be a robot, the same as everyone else. I never really was a conformist. I would rather be ugly and gross, then beautiful and mindless.'" **_

_**The boy stared in shock at his best friend before replying, "How did all that fit on three lines?" The boy's question was so unexpected the girl couldn't stop the hysterical giggle bursting through her lips. **_

"_**I write really small," She answered between giggles. **_

"_**I bet," The boy replied still a little out of it. Trying to avoid an awkward silence, the boy announced his urge to "Tinkle" as he so childishly put it, causing the girl to break into another fit of giggles as the boy ran off towards the downstairs bathroom. **_

_**There was maybe a second of silence as the girl sighed wistfully, losing herself momentarily before the clacking of heels broke her out of her reverie, causing her to straighten her back and stare at her papers, imitating the perfect student. **_

_**The girl still didn't understand why sometimes she was so formal with her friends' parents, but it was usually when the boy wasn't there. The boy was always with her.**_

_**Mrs. Masen would've been visible to the girl by the time she got to the landing between the first and second floor if she were looking. There was a whole hallway separating the staircases and a rail made of wood along the edge of the walkway, which made anyone up there able to see who was in the living room below. The girl didn't see her friends' mom until the landing, because she was busy by staring blankly at the essay she had forgotten moments ago. **_

_**When the woman made it to the bottom of the stairs, she finally looked up from her purse to find a mountain of blankets and pillows, with her couches pushed all the way back to the large front window. She smiled at the little girl, staring at her paper, brow furrowed in concentration. **_

"_**Bella," Mrs. Masen called, cheerfully. The girl looked up and smiled at the beautiful gown Mrs. Masen was wearing. She would only wear extravagant gowns like this for important occasions. The occasion this time was her friends' cousin's—cough cough, second cousins—wedding. Of course, the boy talked his parents out of it, claiming mountains of homework, and that high school was his second chance at becoming more responsible. Also about he would have**_ loved_** to come, (Note the sarcasm) but that homework was more important than fun. Of course, being young himself, Mr. Masen knew his son was just avoiding "Monkey-suits," as he liked to call them. He convinced his wife to let him stay to, "Finish homework."**_

_**She agreed. **_

"_**Mrs. Masen," The girl smiled up at her, appreciatively looking at her dress. "You look absolutely amazing! I love your dress! That color green goes great with your eyes" **_The eyes that you blessed your son with_**, she thought to herself. **_

"_**Why thank you, Bella!" Mrs. Masen chuckled. "And how many times have I asked you to call me Elizabeth?"**_

"_**Um," The girl pretended to think about it. **_

"_**Isabella." Mrs.—I mean, Elizabeth—scolded. **_

"_**Okay, okay. Sorry, Elizabeth," The girl made a point to put an emphasis on her name. The woman chuckled. **_

"_**Okay, so I'm off," She searched through her clutch once more, pulling out keys and some money, before checking her feminine looking watch, sighing, then staring at the stairs. "If my husband realizes he will have to put his suit on eventually…" She said a little louder than normal conversation tone. The girl chuckled, shaking her head slightly. **_

_**Like father, like son…**_

_**Stomping started down the hall and the girl looked up to see a pouty Mr. Masen grumbling under his breath. When he noticed his wife's glare, his posture immediately straightened, plastering on a large smile, then taking his time to admire her form. The girl blushed looking away; it felt like she was intruding on an intimate moment. **_

_**There was a throat clear, and a pointed look at the girl lying on the blankets that finally snapped the man out of his thoughts, commenting on how lovely his wife looked. Mrs. Masen turned back to the girl.**_

"_**Okay, honey, we're off, but there are emergency contact numbers on the fridge, and here's some money for you guys to order something. Sorry I couldn't have dinner today, it's been a long day and it's still not over." She sighed, seeming to calm herself. "Well, where's my son so I could give him a proper goodbye?" **_

_**The girl had heard the toilet flush a while ago, but didn't comment on the absence of her missing best friend. She thought maybe he was hiding until his parents were gone to come out in case they changed their minds. **_

"_**Um, bathroom," The girl stuttered out. "I think he might be awhile, he had a burrito for lunch and well, you know…" The girl trailed off, blushing, not believing she had said this. The Masen's laughed at the girls flushed cheeks.**_

"_**Oh, that's okay then. Tell him bye and give him a big, wet kiss for me, will ya?" Mrs. Masen asked, winking at the girl.**_

"_**Uh, yeah, sure, no problem," The girl decided to just shut up then, but she couldn't help but add a, "Have fun," as they walked out the front door. Once she heard the car pull away, she started to wonder what was taking her friend so long, but as soon as she jumped off of her mount. Pillows, the phone rang.**_

_**From all the time the girl has been to her friend's house, she has never had to answer the phone. There was always someone there, so she wouldn't have to make the choice. The girl had no idea why her friend was taking such a long time, but surely he heard the phone, right? Maybe then he might hurry up and come out to see the girl staring at the object making noise hanging off the wall. **_

_**After the second ring, the girl decided the boy wasn't coming, so she slowly walked towards the white phone, twirling the curly string around in her finger before answering:**_

"_**Masen residence," **_Good_**, the girl thought, **_no stutter_**. **_

"_**Who is this?" The unfamiliar woman on the other end asked. **_

"_**B-Bella, ma'am. May I ask who's speaking?" Be polite, it's always the way to go.**_

"_**Well, hello Bella. May I speak to Elizabeth, please?" The woman answered, avoiding telling the girl her name.**_

"_**Uh…Well, Mrs. Masen just left, but I could leave a mess—" The woman interrupted. **_

"_**No need. I'll call back later then. Have a nice day, Bella." **_Day?_** The girl thought. **_It's night time.

"_**Uh, you, too," The girl answered back, but the other line was already disconnected. The girl stared at the phone, thinking one word; Rudeeee. **_

_**A throat clearing in the doorway broke the girl from her thoughts. The girl jumped when she turned to see her friend leaning up against a wall, arms crossed, smirk on his face, and a look on his face that said "Busted!" The girl felt like a little kid, who got caught with their hands in the cookie jar. **_

_**Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Who me? Yes, you. Couldn't be, then who?...**_

_**The girl nervously pulled at her clothes, avoiding looking at her friend, until he laughed loudly, startling her again. Furrowing her brow, the girl smacked his shoulder. **_

"_**Stop laughing," She commanded. "The phone was ringing and nobody was here to answer it, so I did. I don't know who it was, because the rude butt face wouldn't give me her name." Frustrated at her friend, she crossed her arms across her chest, and huffed. **_

_**The boy was kneeling over now, clutching his sides, panting out random things. "You just…"Breathe. "Ahah, butt face…" Breathe. "Oh my gosh, you should've seen your face!" The girl was annoyed now, and walked over to her friend while he was sucking in a breath…and hit him in the stomach. Not hard, but the boy was already having trouble breathing. The boy groaned, his laughter dying as he stood up, pouting. "I'm sorry," The boy batted his eyelashes and the girl forgave, like she always did…**_

_***END FLASHBACK***_

Ignoring my stupid "Moments" as I like to call them, I went in a search for the phone before it stopped ringing. Renee and Phil were still asleep, even though it was almost one in the afternoon. When I finally found the cordless house phone, I hesitated. What if it was Charlie? What would I say to him? Was I really ready to have this conversation? What if he makes me go back? I couldn't go back.

Sighing, I reached for the phone. "Hello?"

"Renee! So, tell me everything! I want details!" Okay, I'm sorry, but come on, really? Another rude lady? I didn't even get a hello. I swear, people these days.

"Uh, this isn't—" I tried to explain my predicament, but the rude chick interrupted me.

"Renee? You sound off. Are you okay? What happened?" Well, if you let me finish my sentence, then maybe I could've told you!

"I'm not—" Again, lady, really?

"Feeling well? Sick? Cold? Fever? Sore throat? Should I bring soup?" Uh, yeah, sure, soup would be nice, thanks!

Shut up.

Make me!

Am I really arguing with myself?

Yes, but there is a person waiting for an answer on that phone…

Oh, right, thanks!

No problem.

Ignoring my moment of insanity, I answered the woman who had yet to give me her name.

"No, no. I'm not Renee." I breathed out a sigh after rushing out the words, grateful to get it all out without an interruption.

"You're not Renee? Who is this, then?" Mrs. Rude lady is back then!

"I'm Bella,"

"Bella? Who's Bella? Where's Renee?" Oh, so she didn't know Renee had a daughter? Wow, mom, make me feel better.

"Uh, she's asleep. She had a long night." Truthfully, I was aggravated with Renee for sleeping in and leaving as soon as I got here. I mean, come on, what the fudge, mom? You're really helping me in my one time of need. In my seventeen years of life, I've only asked my mother for a pony for Christmas and obviously, that didn't happen. Instead, she left me and Charlie for a young dude named Phil, she met at the bank. I never held it against her, really, being a believer in love at first sight myself, but it devastated Charlie, so I sorta grew up. Became more independent, never asked for more than some cash for school clothes, but even that wasn't a big fee. All I got were jeans and cotton T-shirts. I wore my Forks sweatshirt over them anyways, so I didn't really care.

"I bet she had a long night." The woman said putting an emphasis on long night, which made me believe my mom, was a hooker even more.

"Uh, yeah, so can I leave a message? What's your name again?" Subtly was never something I quite mastered…

"Oh, no, it's fine, just tell her Esme called, she'll understand! Thank you, dear, have a nice day!" And with that she hung up. Hanging the phone up, I wrote down the name Esme on a little notepad that had little pictures running up the side. Sighing in relief that that wasn't Charlie, I sat on the couch, thinking of activities to do today.

The feelings the beach brought were soon diminished when my skin started to tint a reddish-pink color, even though I was sitting more in the shades and wearing old sweats, I felt like I was on fire, so I made my way inside, made some dinner, watched some TV, (Flicking through the channels mindlessly, waiting for something to happen) and then finally retiring for the night, earlier than usual.

Pretty boring.

I was going to register for classes for the nearest high school, but I kinda didn't exactly know where it was, so I was preparing to ask Renee, but she was currently unavailable, and I didn't want to wander around looking like a lost puppy as I tried to find my owner, who abandoned me on the side of the road, because I haven't mastered the art of potty-training yet.

Okay, you've officially lost it.

I lost it when I started talking back to myself.

True.

Or when you actually ignored me…

I wasn't ignoring you.

You weren't talking back, either.

I had nothing to say.

I need food…

Yeah, that's what you need.

Ignoring my inner voice, I searched Renee's kitchen, pantry, and found the thing lacking any comfort food. All I found were Carrots and protein shakes.

_The hooker has to keep her figure. _

_Was anyone talking to you?_

_No, that's why I had to say something._

Sigh.

A knock at the door startled me out of my thoughts. Huffing, I slammed the cabinets a little harder than I meant to, and stomped my way to the door. Opening up, I found a short girl with long silky black hair. Her eyes were wide, but there was a sparkle of something there, maybe excitement? She looked familiar, but I couldn't think from where. Before I knew it, her little arms, spread out wide and she reached out to wrap them around my waist. Now, I'm not tall by any means, but this girl was short.

Reminded me of Tinker Bell.

Nobody asked your opinion!

I still gave it anyway.

Unfortunately…

"Hello…Um, sorry for hugging you, I just know we're going to be best of friends!" The pixie girl, who physically assaulted me, called me her best friend, and literally had her face in my boobs just smiles as if this was her everyday routine.

"Uh, yeah, sure, so what can I do for you…?" Tell me your name, please?

_Oh, look you're being civil._

_Shut up._

_And it's gone. _

"Oh, right, sorry," She blushed a little, but then straightened her shoulders, held out her hand, and spoke with a strength you wouldn't expect from such a little girl. "My name is Alice; I'm your new Made coach."

**Duh duh duhhhhhh! (:**

**Hope you liked it! The show has finally begun! Uh, sorry for the delay. Review, please? (: **

**-Bianca! (: **


	8. As the sun falls

**Read A/N at the bottom, please. **

**Time jump in the beginning, but it's over quickly and we go back to present day. **

**Enjoy! (: **

**DISCLAIMER: I own 'nuffin! ;D**

* * *

**3 MONTHS LATER…**

_**I stare at my reflection in the mirror.**_

_**Why am I doing this to myself?**_

_**Losing my mind on a tiny error.**_

_**I nearly left the real me on the shelf.**_

Jessie J's voice blare through my headphones and I stare out the window. The plane should be landing soon. I told him I was coming back; I promised him I wouldn't let a night of mistake change us. I've changed, though. It's what I wanted, I think.

I'm not sure…

Funny how you can want and want for so long, but when you finally achieve your goal, it means nothing. Sure, I've changed, but as I come closer and closer to my destination, that familiar tugging in my chest pulls harder and harder until I'm breathing heavy and leaning forward in my seat.

I'm coming home.

* * *

**Where we left off… (3 months before intro) **

"STOP!" I turn at the sound of the voice and look over to find a camera crew. A large camera comes closer and I realize the man behind the hunk of crap was the one who screamed. Alice looked at him, annoyed. "Isabella, when Alice says she's your MADE coach, scream, jump up and down," He looked at me from behind his camera and frowned. "Or just scream."

"Alec!" Alice hissed punching him in the gut. He winced and I looked away, seriously contemplating just closing the door.

"Um, Renee and Phil are sleeping, so if you don't mind keeping it down, please." I said quietly. Alice smiled and Alec rolled his eyes.

"Whatever just look excited and do it again." He motioned for Alice to go and she walked back down the porch steps. She looked back.

"Close the door, Bella. We're re-doing the take." She smiled and hopped into the van they were in.

I closed the door, my hand inching towards the lock. I sighed and dropped my hand to my side, limply. A knock at the door sounded moments later. I opened it and took in the whole yard, something I didn't do before. I tried a surprise face, but felt like a complete idiot, so I just went with slightly parted lips, hand over mouth thing. Alice announced she was my MADE coach again, almost the same way she did the first time. I squealed slightly, and my hand muffled the embarrassing sound. The dude behind the camera yelled to stop again and then proceeded to invade Renee's home. All I could do was step to the side.

Alice made her way to the couch in the living room where several others were. The camera dude was yelling at his people incoherent nonsense. I almost smacked him for yelling when he could've used his inside voice perfectly well.

"Shut up, my mom and her husband are asleep upstairs. If you wake them up, you will face the wrath of an annoyed Renee." I warned. The camera dude snorted.

"Listen, I've been doing this for a while, I know what I'm doing," He continues before I can interrupt with a snarky comment. "You're going to smile, hug Alice, and explain why you want to be made. Got it? Good." I roll my eyes and seriously think about flicking him off and tell him to take his camera, get out of my mom's house and go somewhere the sun don't shine.

But then Miss Sunshine herself walks up, gripping my arm, asking if I wanted to take a walk. I reluctantly agree and we head out the back, camera crew following closely behind.

"Ever want to punch that douche in the face?" I ask no one in particular, but Alice answers anyway, ignoring the snorts and laughter behind us.

"All the time," She deadpanned. I laughed. "So, tell me why you want to be MADE," She nods her head behind us and I frown. Creepy camera dudes following me everywhere? No thanks.

"I lived in a small town Forks, Washington my whole life. The weather report described my days before…Voldemort," I say, ignoring the confused looks. "Dull and lifeless. My mom left my dad when I was, like, seven and I stayed with my dad while my mom moved here. She tried to get me to move with her, but I wanted to stay. She didn't understand, she knew how much I hated the place, but I was angry at her, and I was content with my life. I didn't know what it would lead to, though and if I did know beforehand, I would've left with her. Maybe I wouldn't look like a walking Shamu." My hand gestures to my body. Alice looks like she wants to say something, but I hold up my hand. "I met him in kindergarten. It was the worst and best day of my life. I had to walk to school and it started pouring half way there, so I was late, cold, and wet. Not a great first impression. Oh, and since I was soaked I was stuck with lost and found clothing. Even in my Barney shirt, he smiled at me and made me feel like I wasn't the crap Lauren seemed to like to call me." I scowled and continued. "I came home that first day, happy and upset. The disappointment overruled my happiness, though and my mom decided giving me comfort food was a good idea. So, after a few years and things started getting rocky with the parental, food was my best friend when he wasn't there. I started growing bigger than my classmates to a point of no return and now, here I am, explaining to you my life story in short." I roll my eyes, my voice thick with sarcasm.

"Bella, why do you want to be made?" Alice asks quietly.

"What's it like?" I ask, stopping our walk abruptly, turning to face her. She stares in confusion.

"What's what like?" I look away and tell her to forget about it. She pushes, though. "Bella, what's what like?" Her voice is harder, more demanding.

I turn to her again, tears in my eyes, taking all my power for them not to spill.

_Being beautiful, skinny, loved?_ I bury my face in my hands. "God, I'm such a loser." I hear Alice tell them to turn off the cameras.

I'm left alone for a while and I stare out into the ocean, watching the sun rise higher into the sky, and then falling. It's familiar in a comforting way. This memory doesn't hurt as much.

**FLASHBACK**

**The little girl is grown up now, almost fifteen years old. She and her best friend are at that stage where they want to try everything. That's why they're now about three miles into the forest, stuck in the land of green. **

"**Maybe we should go back," The girl whined. She was tired two and a half miles ago, but decided not to say anything. Her best friend looked too happy. **

"**C'mon, its right up here, I promise." He took her hand and smiled pulling her along with him. He swore up and down he found this amazing meadow with a river nearby and everything. They were gonna go swimming since today was a good day in Forks, Washington. The sun was out and the temperature was a solid seventy degrees, which is about as best as it can get, really. **

**She let him drag her another half mile into the forest before she stopped. She saw a light in the opposite direction of which her best friend was taking her. The girl tugged on her friend's sleeve and pointed towards the light. **

**His eyes lit up and he nodded, going that way. He made sure to keep her hand in his grasp and frankly, she wasn't complaining. **

**They made it into a small field and she scowled. Everything was brown, which changed the scenery from her life, but it was so ew. Seeing his best friend's face, he chuckled. The boy kept pulling the girl, though, across the field. He knew she would love his place. He had only been up there a few times, every time he came in from a different direction, so he had no solid path. He reminded himself to make one. **

**They break through a group of bushes and trees, coming in a small, round meadow. The girl's eyes light up, looking anywhere and everywhere. The boy chuckles again, pulling into the center. He brought a backpack full of stuff, like first aid (Never know with the girl), snacks (Because they were sure to get hungry), and change of clothes (Because he fully intended getting wet). **

**The girl was still surveying her area when in the corner of her eye, she sees the boy remove his shirt. **

**She might've fainted for like two seconds before gathering herself. She's seen her friend without a shirt before, but that was when he didn't look like the guy on the Hollister bags. **

**Teenage hormones—love to hate 'em. **

**The girl doesn't remove her clothing, because she wore her bathing suit here, like her friend. She had on a pair of basketball shorts and an old t-shirt. Her friend had on basketball shorts, too, sans t-shirt, since he just removed it. **

**She was hesitant at first when they reached the river, but somehow, her friend convinced her it was safe. They held hands as they jumped in together. The water was freezing, but they didn't care. The boy dunked his head under and when the girl turned to swim away, he grabs her foot from under water, pulling her down with him. She squealed and laughed as her head emerged, slapping him on his chest. **

**They had slash fights and just floated around for a while before they got hungry and cold, deciding to get out. They changed out of their clothes into their spares, hiding behind bushes and trees, of course. The boy brought sandwiches and some juice in a thermos. The girl laughed and asked if his mother packed his lunch this morning. They bantered for a while, eating, laughing, and soaking up the limited amount of warmth the sun gave off. They're wet clothes were drying beside them and were sure to be still damp by the time they would have to pick them up, but they didn't care.**

**They watched the sun rise and fall as they just spent the day together in that meadow, blissfully unaware of anything else. **

**END FLASHBACK**

By sunset, Alice shows up again, but I ignore her.

She sits next to me silently, bringing her knees up and wrapping her arms around them, resting her chin on her knees.

"I'm sorry," I mumble. She mutters something, but I can't hear her.

"Thank you," She replies. I'm confused.

"For what?" I'm staring at her staring out at the ocean.

"For letting me in," She answers simply. "You don't seem to be the kind of girl who does that often."

"I'm not," I sigh. "I'll try my hardest, I promise, but I was wondering if I could get into kick-boxing," I wonder aloud. Alice laughs.

"Why kick-boxing?" She giggles.

"Because with that Alec dude, I'm gonna have to blow off some steam." I laugh as Alice bumps her shoulder against mine. We watch the sun fall beneath the water and decide I should get back. Renee's gone when I'm back and most of the crew is just lounging around as if they own the place. I wondered where they were staying.

"Ah, Bella, you're back! I saw the footage from earlier and I have to say, nice tears." Alec smirks at me, and then walks away as if that was a compliment.

I start after him, but a hand rests on my shoulder. I look back at Alice, who shakes her head, and slump into myself.

I announce I'm going to my room and Alice follows along with a few other people. I scowl, but choose to ignore them. _You volunteered for this, Bella, stop complaining._ This kept running through my mind like a mantra.

Or maybe it was that annoying voice I keep trying to ignore…

God, I'm crazy.

_Aint gotta tell me twice…_

Ugh! You're back? No talking in front of people. I may be crazy, but at least I don't look crazy.

_Says you. _

Shut up!

_No. That was mean. Apologize. _

No.

_Yes. _

No.

"Bella?"

"Yes." I ask and turn around, ignoring the snort in my head. I realize I've been standing at the end of the hallway, just staring at the wall. I shake my head and apologize, walking into my room. I head straight out to the balcony and stare out over the water.

Alice and her group of peeps follow me out and we just sit there, staring out into the water.

Too soon, though, Alice breaks the silence with a small giggle. I look at her like she has two heads, but she just smiles and asks, "So, you've met Voldemort?" She laughs again, and I sigh.

"It's a long story," I warn.

She smiles. "I've got time,"

* * *

**A/N: I'm sooooooooo sooooooo sorry for the super late update. This story brings up my past issues, minus the whole television thing. I had to lose weight and deal with dude problems and I couldn't run half-way across the country like Bella. I didn't know this would affect me so much, but it did. I will continue with this story, no matter what. It hit a sore spot I didn't expect since it was a while ago, but I guess I'm still not over it. Sorry for being late, I'll try harder, promise! (: **

**Thanks for reading, I hoped you liked it! (: **

**-Bianca**


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